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3/16/2007 c1 34eupseudes
Jam-packed with imagery! Not sure if it's an essay though. X)

When you're concentrating metaphors and similes at 500 per each square foot wordage, be sure not to fall into the trap of "Mixed metaphors." Thick anxiety and razor-blade butterflies do not together mesh. It's like saying the whale was as big as a steam-roller and as gray as your morning pudding.

This sometimes results in the juxtaposition of two very different adjectives. For example: "crusty dough drowning in powdered sugar". If it's crusty it's not soggy, as the "drowning" would lead readers to believe.

Grammar naziism: "more white, I should even" ARGH! Comma-splicing. Replace it with a semicolon. The Zipper should be capitalized in the second paragraph. I thought you were talking about pant zippers for a moment (gah sexual innuendo).

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