for life3/14/2007 c1 
59radioactive stanica
Beautifully done! I would love to add this to my C2 because it is what my C2 is all about, "Life." Great work!
Best Wishes!
(TSP)
59radioactive stanicaBeautifully done! I would love to add this to my C2 because it is what my C2 is all about, "Life." Great work!
Best Wishes!
(TSP)
3/14/2007 c1 40JessieJean
Then it evaporates,
nothing left but dunes.
A few drops on sand,
an empty desert,
a bare world.
Life,
flows like a river...
Personally, I cannot be entertained by a poem that say 'life flows like a river' (good start), 'mere trickle, raging torrent, meandering stream, turbulent sea, the end.'. It's just an adjective and water thing, with nothing else. Maybe you'll want to expand on the feeling of the poem... Why it is a mere trickle, then a turbulent sea. Things like that, so it's not just a list.
Good luck with it, and nice effort!
40JessieJeanThen it evaporates,
nothing left but dunes.
A few drops on sand,
an empty desert,
a bare world.
Life,
flows like a river...
Personally, I cannot be entertained by a poem that say 'life flows like a river' (good start), 'mere trickle, raging torrent, meandering stream, turbulent sea, the end.'. It's just an adjective and water thing, with nothing else. Maybe you'll want to expand on the feeling of the poem... Why it is a mere trickle, then a turbulent sea. Things like that, so it's not just a list.
Good luck with it, and nice effort!
3/14/2007 c1 79Summerdazed
hmm...highly metaphoric, yet short and concise. good job.
review me when you're free :O)
=summerdazed=
79Summerdazedhmm...highly metaphoric, yet short and concise. good job.
review me when you're free :O)
=summerdazed=