for Splits6/18/2007 c6 
3I Quoth Nevermore
No no no! You must continue. Just because there aren't a lot of reviews doesn't mean you should stop. Heck, one of my stories barely has any hits and I'm still writing it no matter what. So, don't give up, because this is a totally awesome fic and I love Ruth because she's so original and an all around fun character.
Now, about the chapter. It was great how you put Noah and Ruth in a solo in an oh-so-innocent way. And I loved the scene with Peter's cousin. Gosh, I thought for a second that it really was Peter! .gasp. But I have another Q because I'm stupid: Who didn't Ruth want to see at Cole's appartment? I don't remember who he lives with. Was it Isaac? Anyhoodles, please update!
3I Quoth NevermoreNo no no! You must continue. Just because there aren't a lot of reviews doesn't mean you should stop. Heck, one of my stories barely has any hits and I'm still writing it no matter what. So, don't give up, because this is a totally awesome fic and I love Ruth because she's so original and an all around fun character.
Now, about the chapter. It was great how you put Noah and Ruth in a solo in an oh-so-innocent way. And I loved the scene with Peter's cousin. Gosh, I thought for a second that it really was Peter! .gasp. But I have another Q because I'm stupid: Who didn't Ruth want to see at Cole's appartment? I don't remember who he lives with. Was it Isaac? Anyhoodles, please update!
6/18/2007 c6 mer-person
i love this story so far, but at points, it can just get so confusing. I think you might want to consider getting a beta just because sometimes, if you read your work, it totally makes sense, but when other poeple are, it doesnt. It happens to everyone. Keep up the good work!
i love this story so far, but at points, it can just get so confusing. I think you might want to consider getting a beta just because sometimes, if you read your work, it totally makes sense, but when other poeple are, it doesnt. It happens to everyone. Keep up the good work!
6/3/2007 c5 Midnight Owl
This chapter was well written, though I'm not sure how much I like the turn the story has taken, if for no other reason than it seems a tad out of character. I understand what you mean about wanting a longer story (which is really very realistic! I love that, I'm so over stories where the main characters fall in love in the course of a semester or whatever), and kudos to you for pulling that off. I also understand how stressed and hurt Ruth was... but the entire situation seemed entirely out of Isaac's character (but maybe you have some explanation for that- like he's always been competative with Noah or something), and even Ruth's... because she seems so- I don't know, cautious. Even Noah's response was unexpected. Spitting at her feet? I would have thought he'd be more hurt than angry.
Anyways, take my criticisms with a grain of salt, because these are your characters and you are the only person that they really answer to. I'm really intrigued as to where you're going to go from here.
This chapter was well written, though I'm not sure how much I like the turn the story has taken, if for no other reason than it seems a tad out of character. I understand what you mean about wanting a longer story (which is really very realistic! I love that, I'm so over stories where the main characters fall in love in the course of a semester or whatever), and kudos to you for pulling that off. I also understand how stressed and hurt Ruth was... but the entire situation seemed entirely out of Isaac's character (but maybe you have some explanation for that- like he's always been competative with Noah or something), and even Ruth's... because she seems so- I don't know, cautious. Even Noah's response was unexpected. Spitting at her feet? I would have thought he'd be more hurt than angry.
Anyways, take my criticisms with a grain of salt, because these are your characters and you are the only person that they really answer to. I'm really intrigued as to where you're going to go from here.
5/30/2007 c5 19ihrtbks
So first Isaac is a perverted asshole, then tries to patch her up with Noah, and then kisses here after Noah walks out? Isaac is, to say the least, an interesting character. I'm glad you have REAL people in your story, people with more than one personality trait. I'm dying to see if Ruth ends up with Isaac or Noah.
UPDATE SOON!
19ihrtbksSo first Isaac is a perverted asshole, then tries to patch her up with Noah, and then kisses here after Noah walks out? Isaac is, to say the least, an interesting character. I'm glad you have REAL people in your story, people with more than one personality trait. I'm dying to see if Ruth ends up with Isaac or Noah.
UPDATE SOON!
5/29/2007 c5 3I Quoth Nevermore
Great update! Okay, I like to point out my favorite lines so this is one of them: Weren’t you supposed to speak of the devil for him to arrive? Was thinking of him really enough? That sort of sucks then.
It's just that it's not a legit "speak of the devil" More of a round about way of saying so. Brilliant. ANYHOODLES!
I'm a bit confused. So Isaac left the room, but then comes back? Is that it? Cause I don't remember you writing in that Isaac came back.
And great job with the twists. I so did not expect that! It's kind of sad, but good for the plot. And it's sad to think that Noah was drinking. Le sigh. Please update soon! I want to see Noah more! KThanksBye!
3I Quoth NevermoreGreat update! Okay, I like to point out my favorite lines so this is one of them: Weren’t you supposed to speak of the devil for him to arrive? Was thinking of him really enough? That sort of sucks then.
It's just that it's not a legit "speak of the devil" More of a round about way of saying so. Brilliant. ANYHOODLES!
I'm a bit confused. So Isaac left the room, but then comes back? Is that it? Cause I don't remember you writing in that Isaac came back.
And great job with the twists. I so did not expect that! It's kind of sad, but good for the plot. And it's sad to think that Noah was drinking. Le sigh. Please update soon! I want to see Noah more! KThanksBye!
5/29/2007 c5 10Reflection Unseen
I like your story very much so far. It is unpredictable and uncliched.
Noah's idiocy is frustrating. But in a good way.
I'm sorry that I can't seem to think of anything useful to say.
Anyways, your idea has tons of potential and it seems like you are fulfilling it so far.
10Reflection UnseenI like your story very much so far. It is unpredictable and uncliched.
Noah's idiocy is frustrating. But in a good way.
I'm sorry that I can't seem to think of anything useful to say.
Anyways, your idea has tons of potential and it seems like you are fulfilling it so far.
5/19/2007 c4 3phelps112
you don't have to fix the conversation, yes it's awkward, but that type of situation is awkward. so she's quitting point, what will Cole think?
3phelps112you don't have to fix the conversation, yes it's awkward, but that type of situation is awkward. so she's quitting point, what will Cole think?
5/19/2007 c4 cocaine girl
wow this is one of the unique-est stories i've read far away. Things dont happen to quickly. I hate it when it happens. Hero and the heroine fall in love at the first sight, then have passionate sex and then blah blah blah. so phony. but i really liked your plot and all. keep up with the good work.:D ciao.
wow this is one of the unique-est stories i've read far away. Things dont happen to quickly. I hate it when it happens. Hero and the heroine fall in love at the first sight, then have passionate sex and then blah blah blah. so phony. but i really liked your plot and all. keep up with the good work.:D ciao.
5/18/2007 c4 Emilea
ah
i really really like your story!
and it's slightly early for her dramatic "i quit" speech but we'll see what you come up with next time
=)
i can't wait for an update, so update SOON!
goodluck
ah
i really really like your story!
and it's slightly early for her dramatic "i quit" speech but we'll see what you come up with next time
=)
i can't wait for an update, so update SOON!
goodluck
5/18/2007 c3 5Uisukiiinyoursleep
I think your writing is fantastic and this story is incredibly unique and original. Everything so far has been very solid and nicely paced.
I'm kind of annoyed at Ruth as a character though, or more at her flaws as a character. She doesn't really stand up for herself and when she tries, she doesn't follow through with it. She is essentially ordered around by everyone, and she passively complies. The line that really bugged me was when Ruth's character asks herself how she "could have chosen such a bad friend" (reference to Ross)- when she's being a bad friend herself. They're in college now and it might be safe to assume that Ross has experienced some maturity and growth as a person (especially due to what happened at the end of high school). You know the idea that goes something like, when things get bad and you're at the lowest point in your life- that's when you'll know who your real friends are? When Ruth finds out something bad about Ross, her response is to recoil from him and ditch him as a friend... I found that very cruel.
That said, I am glad with the stance Ruth's character is currently taking regarding Noah's lifestyle. It's not just his family that is key here (probably what Isaac was referencing- maybe him thinking that Ruth's dislike for politicians and the fact that Noah comes from a family of politicos gets in the way of her and Noah), but it's the lifestyle she is already experiencing just by being Noah's friend. The rules, the ordering around, the constant testing and needing to be a certain way, to be sure she stays that certain way... It's stifling.
Anyway, wonderful writing. I'd go back and review previous chapters or read the latest one- but it's already 4am and I figure it's about time to crash =).
5UisukiiinyoursleepI think your writing is fantastic and this story is incredibly unique and original. Everything so far has been very solid and nicely paced.
I'm kind of annoyed at Ruth as a character though, or more at her flaws as a character. She doesn't really stand up for herself and when she tries, she doesn't follow through with it. She is essentially ordered around by everyone, and she passively complies. The line that really bugged me was when Ruth's character asks herself how she "could have chosen such a bad friend" (reference to Ross)- when she's being a bad friend herself. They're in college now and it might be safe to assume that Ross has experienced some maturity and growth as a person (especially due to what happened at the end of high school). You know the idea that goes something like, when things get bad and you're at the lowest point in your life- that's when you'll know who your real friends are? When Ruth finds out something bad about Ross, her response is to recoil from him and ditch him as a friend... I found that very cruel.
That said, I am glad with the stance Ruth's character is currently taking regarding Noah's lifestyle. It's not just his family that is key here (probably what Isaac was referencing- maybe him thinking that Ruth's dislike for politicians and the fact that Noah comes from a family of politicos gets in the way of her and Noah), but it's the lifestyle she is already experiencing just by being Noah's friend. The rules, the ordering around, the constant testing and needing to be a certain way, to be sure she stays that certain way... It's stifling.
Anyway, wonderful writing. I'd go back and review previous chapters or read the latest one- but it's already 4am and I figure it's about time to crash =).
5/17/2007 c4 3I Quoth Nevermore
Great job. I was a bit confused about the part with Naomi and why she flushed when she asked if Ruth knew Jason. Maybe I missed something...anyways. Please update!
3I Quoth NevermoreGreat job. I was a bit confused about the part with Naomi and why she flushed when she asked if Ruth knew Jason. Maybe I missed something...anyways. Please update!
5/17/2007 c4 Midnight Owl
I left this nice long constructive review and fictionpress deleted it. :(
Anyways, I'm glad you updated. Your writing was, once again, admirably mature- especially for someone who ahs just started writing. You're right.. there is some awkwardness in the writing- mostly it's the dialogue, but don't worry too much, everyone has it and the only way to really fix it is to edit, edit, edit. I, however, am a selfish creature and would much prefer to read quick updates than wait for you to edit, edit, edit. Anyways, I really liked Ruth's reaction to Noah's parents.. but I preferred his reaction to his parents. There was something endearing about the childishness- it's nice to know he's not perfect, and that he has normal relationships with his family.
There were a few parts of this chapter that confused me... were Noah and Ruth and Noah's parents talking somewhere very public? Is that why they were "making a scene"? I was also a little confused by Ruth's reaction to Shoshanna. On some levels it makes a lot of sense, but on others it seems a little.. unusual? Hm.
Anyways, excellent job! I can't wait to read more!
I left this nice long constructive review and fictionpress deleted it. :(
Anyways, I'm glad you updated. Your writing was, once again, admirably mature- especially for someone who ahs just started writing. You're right.. there is some awkwardness in the writing- mostly it's the dialogue, but don't worry too much, everyone has it and the only way to really fix it is to edit, edit, edit. I, however, am a selfish creature and would much prefer to read quick updates than wait for you to edit, edit, edit. Anyways, I really liked Ruth's reaction to Noah's parents.. but I preferred his reaction to his parents. There was something endearing about the childishness- it's nice to know he's not perfect, and that he has normal relationships with his family.
There were a few parts of this chapter that confused me... were Noah and Ruth and Noah's parents talking somewhere very public? Is that why they were "making a scene"? I was also a little confused by Ruth's reaction to Shoshanna. On some levels it makes a lot of sense, but on others it seems a little.. unusual? Hm.
Anyways, excellent job! I can't wait to read more!
5/17/2007 c4 3unlikely.story
Once again, great chapter! Loved it. The only thing I have to say is that the dialogue between her and the parents seemed a little forced...
or i guess maybe that was exactly the kind of dialogue you wanted. Either way, loved it.
3unlikely.storyOnce again, great chapter! Loved it. The only thing I have to say is that the dialogue between her and the parents seemed a little forced...
or i guess maybe that was exactly the kind of dialogue you wanted. Either way, loved it.
5/12/2007 c3 Midnight Owl
Lovely :)
Your writing is mature, much more sophisticated than ninety-eight percent of the writing on this website. A story like this one makes weeding through the filth on fictionpress almost worth it. I'd really like to learn more about why Ruth is so... averse to politicians, I guess.
I like Ross. There's something endearing about his past, I guess, because it's the muck and grime of a person that make them really loveable.
Anyways, I hope you keep working on this :) I'll definitely keep reading.
Lovely :)
Your writing is mature, much more sophisticated than ninety-eight percent of the writing on this website. A story like this one makes weeding through the filth on fictionpress almost worth it. I'd really like to learn more about why Ruth is so... averse to politicians, I guess.
I like Ross. There's something endearing about his past, I guess, because it's the muck and grime of a person that make them really loveable.
Anyways, I hope you keep working on this :) I'll definitely keep reading.
5/7/2007 c3 8Lethe's Oblivion
I really like this story, so far. Usually I don't start reading one until there's a few more chapters out, but this one caught my interest. I especially like Ruth's character. It's kind of frustrating the way the guys treat her though, like she doesn't have any control over herself. I think I might be missing some of the meaning behind the characters' interactions, but I'm kind of really hoping Ruth is gonna give them all a sound thrashing and make them guilty as hell.
8Lethe's OblivionI really like this story, so far. Usually I don't start reading one until there's a few more chapters out, but this one caught my interest. I especially like Ruth's character. It's kind of frustrating the way the guys treat her though, like she doesn't have any control over herself. I think I might be missing some of the meaning behind the characters' interactions, but I'm kind of really hoping Ruth is gonna give them all a sound thrashing and make them guilty as hell.