for Splits3/29/2009 c23 
5Priceless93
Hi, just wanted to say that I absolutely adore this story, and I really hope you update soon. ^^
5Priceless93Hi, just wanted to say that I absolutely adore this story, and I really hope you update soon. ^^
3/17/2009 c23 138Aero Faerie Extraordinaire
Thank you. I look forward to May. And I'm glad Ruth's back.
xx Aero xx
138Aero Faerie ExtraordinaireThank you. I look forward to May. And I'm glad Ruth's back.
xx Aero xx
3/15/2009 c2 10Imagination's Dust
To be honest, I was fairly interested in this story at the start. Ten it just got lame. Sorry for being brutally honest here, but one second she's whining about how they're forcing her into ythings and the next she's easily letting them steal her tote bag and drag her along. Honestly, how pathetic can she get? I can't say I found this very realistic as most girls by now who were defensive like Ruth was, would've slapped Noah when he first touched her bag. Her personality appears kinda feeble this way. And the whole leting him take her on a date she never agreed on, was a bit lame of her.
Structure wise and everything, this is pretty good. But since when did Islamic people allow dating? And if they're doing it, it's considered wrong. XD
- HT
10Imagination's DustTo be honest, I was fairly interested in this story at the start. Ten it just got lame. Sorry for being brutally honest here, but one second she's whining about how they're forcing her into ythings and the next she's easily letting them steal her tote bag and drag her along. Honestly, how pathetic can she get? I can't say I found this very realistic as most girls by now who were defensive like Ruth was, would've slapped Noah when he first touched her bag. Her personality appears kinda feeble this way. And the whole leting him take her on a date she never agreed on, was a bit lame of her.
Structure wise and everything, this is pretty good. But since when did Islamic people allow dating? And if they're doing it, it's considered wrong. XD
- HT
3/15/2009 c23 11Jessiquie
Yay! a New chapter! I love the way all the characters have grown and evolved and that there all back together again. Love the light bantering again too!
Thankyou so much for updating! Look forward to the next installment!
11JessiquieYay! a New chapter! I love the way all the characters have grown and evolved and that there all back together again. Love the light bantering again too!
Thankyou so much for updating! Look forward to the next installment!
3/15/2009 c23 3Essevera
Patience makes the person. no worries. the update wasn't too bad :) i jest. i jest.
3EsseveraPatience makes the person. no worries. the update wasn't too bad :) i jest. i jest.
10/29/2008 c22 layne
"I’ve got iced tea and lemonade and orange juice."
tea, lemonade, and orange juice*
"but was made it easier for him to protect her if Noah proved to be dangerous."
dangerous? i don't know what sort of people walk in on a friend with a guest having a conversation and immediately assume nefarious deeds afoot. again with the questionable characterization. maybe it's just me personally, but i don't really get ruth's new friends. they seem over zealous in the area of 'protecting' ruth for no good reason, they make mountains of molehills, and they are also strangely quick to anger. i've been to arizona several times and i didn't meet anybody there like that.
i understand that you were aiming for a quick transition, but i would like to have read a more gradual change, even if it was just a few extra paragraphs about ruth's new life. i think it would have been good for you to have written about how ruth felt at seeing noah again in a more in-depth manner. in the last two chapters, it went 'move-newlife-meeting noah', and all very quickly. however, i do like the change you're making in ruth's personality and the different direction this 'half' of the story seems to be taking. i think if you focus on fleshing things (scenes, characters) out more, the rest of this will go really well.
"I’ve got iced tea and lemonade and orange juice."
tea, lemonade, and orange juice*
"but was made it easier for him to protect her if Noah proved to be dangerous."
dangerous? i don't know what sort of people walk in on a friend with a guest having a conversation and immediately assume nefarious deeds afoot. again with the questionable characterization. maybe it's just me personally, but i don't really get ruth's new friends. they seem over zealous in the area of 'protecting' ruth for no good reason, they make mountains of molehills, and they are also strangely quick to anger. i've been to arizona several times and i didn't meet anybody there like that.
i understand that you were aiming for a quick transition, but i would like to have read a more gradual change, even if it was just a few extra paragraphs about ruth's new life. i think it would have been good for you to have written about how ruth felt at seeing noah again in a more in-depth manner. in the last two chapters, it went 'move-newlife-meeting noah', and all very quickly. however, i do like the change you're making in ruth's personality and the different direction this 'half' of the story seems to be taking. i think if you focus on fleshing things (scenes, characters) out more, the rest of this will go really well.
10/29/2008 c22 5Uisukiiinyoursleep
I liked this chapter. I like that Ruth stood her ground and that any consequent decision she makes (as hinted, at the end of the chapter) will be on her own terms. This is the character growth I've been waiting for :o).
I appreciate that you took some of what I wrote in the earlier review into consideration, even if my review was not very helpful (or unkind- if so, I apologize). I think your writing is really good, only that the characters needed to be fleshed out a little more in terms of personality. I look forward to the next chapter :).
5UisukiiinyoursleepI liked this chapter. I like that Ruth stood her ground and that any consequent decision she makes (as hinted, at the end of the chapter) will be on her own terms. This is the character growth I've been waiting for :o).
I appreciate that you took some of what I wrote in the earlier review into consideration, even if my review was not very helpful (or unkind- if so, I apologize). I think your writing is really good, only that the characters needed to be fleshed out a little more in terms of personality. I look forward to the next chapter :).
10/29/2008 c22 6sooner or later its over
WOW. i wasn't expecting Noah to come back but I'm SO glad he did, i mean they belong together :)
6sooner or later its overWOW. i wasn't expecting Noah to come back but I'm SO glad he did, i mean they belong together :)
10/28/2008 c22 3Essevera
nice updates but they were a bit dialogue heavy and seemed rush. i couldn't tell how big of a time gap we're looking at. anyways, update soon!
3Esseveranice updates but they were a bit dialogue heavy and seemed rush. i couldn't tell how big of a time gap we're looking at. anyways, update soon!
10/15/2008 c5 7tickle-me-pretty15
Chapter 5 didn't make any sense. It went to Isaac leaving and her calling her mom to him reappearing out of nowhere and them sleeping together. Was that one scene with her mother no supposed to be there. It seems rushed and not all that formulated.
7tickle-me-pretty15Chapter 5 didn't make any sense. It went to Isaac leaving and her calling her mom to him reappearing out of nowhere and them sleeping together. Was that one scene with her mother no supposed to be there. It seems rushed and not all that formulated.
9/18/2008 c20 5Uisukiiinyoursleep
I have to say I agree with the previous reviewer, layne (sp?). That is to say- about the aloofness, the lack of emotional conviction...
Honestly, I dislike the thought of Ruth and Noah ending up together. Just reading the story myself, I feel suffocated at the idea. Ruth is finally fighting back, but this is just a minor bump in the road before she inevitably becomes submissive and passive once more. To be boxed, to be dictated, to be manipulated, and so on. All the characters (related to Noah) claim to care about her, but they only appear to care about her in so far as she is a means to an end (the cookie cutter life of a politico). She is restricted, restricted, restricted. Crying is a sign of immaturity? Robotic was an apt description for all of them (yes, Ruth too... because she always agrees with them in her mind).
I'm sorry, I don't mean this to be a flame... just a concern.
5UisukiiinyoursleepI have to say I agree with the previous reviewer, layne (sp?). That is to say- about the aloofness, the lack of emotional conviction...
Honestly, I dislike the thought of Ruth and Noah ending up together. Just reading the story myself, I feel suffocated at the idea. Ruth is finally fighting back, but this is just a minor bump in the road before she inevitably becomes submissive and passive once more. To be boxed, to be dictated, to be manipulated, and so on. All the characters (related to Noah) claim to care about her, but they only appear to care about her in so far as she is a means to an end (the cookie cutter life of a politico). She is restricted, restricted, restricted. Crying is a sign of immaturity? Robotic was an apt description for all of them (yes, Ruth too... because she always agrees with them in her mind).
I'm sorry, I don't mean this to be a flame... just a concern.
9/17/2008 c20 layne
these people are so fucking nuts. they're all like a bunch of robots, everything is analytical and thought out and shelved, even emotions. it's like little portions and charts and mathematical problems is all that they see. i understand that they're politicians and they need to be this way, but i also feel like this is a byproduct of your writing in that your characters always maintain sort of an air of aloofness, despondence, and removal, even to the reader. it's more of like a documentation rather than a dramatization. you write very cut-and-dry, nothing is ever messy or deep, and your characters always remain rather impersonal. it's like chewing on cardboard, i guess. just very beige and dry.
these people are so fucking nuts. they're all like a bunch of robots, everything is analytical and thought out and shelved, even emotions. it's like little portions and charts and mathematical problems is all that they see. i understand that they're politicians and they need to be this way, but i also feel like this is a byproduct of your writing in that your characters always maintain sort of an air of aloofness, despondence, and removal, even to the reader. it's more of like a documentation rather than a dramatization. you write very cut-and-dry, nothing is ever messy or deep, and your characters always remain rather impersonal. it's like chewing on cardboard, i guess. just very beige and dry.