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for The Infowar: The Phantom Casualties

5/29/2007 c1 28Erisah Mae
Nice. A sort of modern fable slant on a real issue... and the way things are travelling in this world, more people need to be aware of the debates that surround technology such as this.

Why is it that a newly patented weapon design is put into use far earlier than medical technology? Answer: profit. The US of A is the world's biggest arms dealer. The irony will be just too perfect if it also becomes the world's biggest developer of prosthetics to replace limbs blown off by their weapons.

Honestly, the Armaments dealers should invest in the companies that can produce the prosthetics, and then push for their more widespread release.

Pardon my cynicism, but it's events like this that put the touch of black comedy into life that much easier to find.

It would be nice though, if some of the politicians could get their corrupt fingers out of this pie so that all amputees could have a chance at normal life... and not just the veterans locked in the post-brainwashed sheep phase, (suggesting that they ever reach it).

Verily I veer most verbose, but all in all I enjoyed this piece, as it was refreshingly realistic.

Ja, mata,

3/16/2007 c1 ecwix
Colonel was one of our biggest costumers.

"Costumers" should be "customers."


One other thing I noticed is that you seemed to use a few of the same word phrases over and over again, such as "cutting edge" and "red tape" and as I was reading, I felt as if these words were a bit overused. Perhaps you should try finding alternate ways of saying it?


Overall, the story's a decent short story, giving a new perspective on a few topics. It can be a little dull and perhaps the narrator sounds bored at times, but otherwise, I'd say that it's okay. Keep writing :).

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