
7/17/2007 c21
12sunflowersing
Argh! I can't take the drama much longer! Update as soon as you can! :-D
sunflowersing

Argh! I can't take the drama much longer! Update as soon as you can! :-D
sunflowersing
7/15/2007 c21 ErBeBr
I really enjoy this story. And what the hell is wrong with Arion? I used to like him... he he he. Anyway I think this is great and hope you update in the near future!
Have a good day!
E.B. Feduleyevski
I really enjoy this story. And what the hell is wrong with Arion? I used to like him... he he he. Anyway I think this is great and hope you update in the near future!
Have a good day!
E.B. Feduleyevski
7/15/2007 c21
28Erisah Mae
Oh what tangled webs we weave...
Holy Soap Opera Batman!
Jeez, none of these people can catch a break can they! It's like watching an orchestrated trainwreck and plane crash that simulataneously have a nuclear warhead exploding on top of the debris.
Your writing style is excellent, your characters deeply detailed and intricate, the relationships amazingly credible... this is one of the best stories that I have ever read, despite its insane tragedy. The subtlety of the action, as well as the interlocking situations that you have portrayed here are simply phenomenal.
But a happy ending for at least someone would be nice...
Definitely adding this as a favourite.
Erisah

Oh what tangled webs we weave...
Holy Soap Opera Batman!
Jeez, none of these people can catch a break can they! It's like watching an orchestrated trainwreck and plane crash that simulataneously have a nuclear warhead exploding on top of the debris.
Your writing style is excellent, your characters deeply detailed and intricate, the relationships amazingly credible... this is one of the best stories that I have ever read, despite its insane tragedy. The subtlety of the action, as well as the interlocking situations that you have portrayed here are simply phenomenal.
But a happy ending for at least someone would be nice...
Definitely adding this as a favourite.
Erisah
7/12/2007 c21 brianna
all i've got to say is that madison better end up with darick...
all i've got to say is that madison better end up with darick...
7/12/2007 c21 Rissa
omg...
please update, i think the suspense is killing me...
omg...
please update, i think the suspense is killing me...
7/12/2007 c21 The Banshee's Tears
wow! intense chapter...im dying dying dying to know madison's secret! agh! great chapter, great story!
wow! intense chapter...im dying dying dying to know madison's secret! agh! great chapter, great story!
7/12/2007 c21 tamara20
well i like this story alot and i think that the story is coming along great and i can't wait for the next chapter soo thanks for the great read and i am feeling vary sorry for Madison and i hope that she does kiss Darick.
well i like this story alot and i think that the story is coming along great and i can't wait for the next chapter soo thanks for the great read and i am feeling vary sorry for Madison and i hope that she does kiss Darick.
7/12/2007 c21 liVe-yOuR-fAntAsy
No! Go back to her, Darick! Ughh. I love Madison and him together! haha. Update soon!
No! Go back to her, Darick! Ughh. I love Madison and him together! haha. Update soon!
7/12/2007 c20 laughing.through.tears
I've been reading this story for awhile, and just now finished it up to this point. It's a very good piece of writing. You develop plot well, and keep the suspense going.
One thing that I'm not sure I like is that many characters are so open with their feelings. Not many people I know will tell me outright what they feel. You don't write much in individual persons' pov with their thoughts telling what they feel, although rather more in later chapters. I see Darick is supposed to be a moody, private person, but he spilled all to Maxine quite easily. That could be because she is so close to him, but many other characters simply tell what they feel. I don't think people can be so open with their feelings verbally.
Another aspect that I find unrealistic is the language you use. It sounds sophisticated and learned, but normally people don't talk like that. They use slang, imperfect grammar, and less precise sentences. "I found myself unable to cope" for instance, might be more realistically expressed as "I can't do this anymore!"
I especially like the way you can make readers understand motives and thought processes of the characters. The setting skips around, but that doesn't make the story confusing for the reader. It's well organized, which is very good. We can see what's going on, follow what the characters are saying, and feel their pain, joy, or jealousy all at the same time. Kudos.
Arion. His character gets on my nerves. I believe Madison herself said it somewhere in here; he goes from being 'good' to 'bad'. Why? He is jealous of Darick, but I still don't understand how he can do such a 180 degree turn. Aries seems 'good' himself, and he's Arion's twin brother, with whom he apparently shares great confidence.
The entire plot line is like a soap opera to me. Lots of dramatics, definitely. It's all very focused on this small group of extremely (and not so extremely) well to do people and their love trials. I got rather annoyed by this at times, but it's just a matter of what one chooses to write about. The slow movement of the plot I don't mind. There's enough action in the chapters to make up for that.
On the whole, you're an amazing writer. Your spelling and grammar is fantastic, and everything else is high in quality as well. The length of the chapters also does much to recommend Cerulean Harbor. Well, that's all I have to say. Good job.
I've been reading this story for awhile, and just now finished it up to this point. It's a very good piece of writing. You develop plot well, and keep the suspense going.
One thing that I'm not sure I like is that many characters are so open with their feelings. Not many people I know will tell me outright what they feel. You don't write much in individual persons' pov with their thoughts telling what they feel, although rather more in later chapters. I see Darick is supposed to be a moody, private person, but he spilled all to Maxine quite easily. That could be because she is so close to him, but many other characters simply tell what they feel. I don't think people can be so open with their feelings verbally.
Another aspect that I find unrealistic is the language you use. It sounds sophisticated and learned, but normally people don't talk like that. They use slang, imperfect grammar, and less precise sentences. "I found myself unable to cope" for instance, might be more realistically expressed as "I can't do this anymore!"
I especially like the way you can make readers understand motives and thought processes of the characters. The setting skips around, but that doesn't make the story confusing for the reader. It's well organized, which is very good. We can see what's going on, follow what the characters are saying, and feel their pain, joy, or jealousy all at the same time. Kudos.
Arion. His character gets on my nerves. I believe Madison herself said it somewhere in here; he goes from being 'good' to 'bad'. Why? He is jealous of Darick, but I still don't understand how he can do such a 180 degree turn. Aries seems 'good' himself, and he's Arion's twin brother, with whom he apparently shares great confidence.
The entire plot line is like a soap opera to me. Lots of dramatics, definitely. It's all very focused on this small group of extremely (and not so extremely) well to do people and their love trials. I got rather annoyed by this at times, but it's just a matter of what one chooses to write about. The slow movement of the plot I don't mind. There's enough action in the chapters to make up for that.
On the whole, you're an amazing writer. Your spelling and grammar is fantastic, and everything else is high in quality as well. The length of the chapters also does much to recommend Cerulean Harbor. Well, that's all I have to say. Good job.
7/8/2007 c20
7awaiting.rain
i'm so glad darick figured it out.
i hate it when in stories the characters are so damn stupid.
i cant wait to find out what Madison is hiding.

i'm so glad darick figured it out.
i hate it when in stories the characters are so damn stupid.
i cant wait to find out what Madison is hiding.