for One Shot12/7/2008 c1 
13blurrylights
The last few sentences didn't make sense to me.
"Five days prior to the accident, Brian got hold of the news that Kayla had gotten out of her coma only to die of the excessive (and sudden) haemorrhaging in her brains."
Five days prior to the accident that happened in this story? Why was she in a coma? That was confusing...
But I really like it, overall. Good job.
13blurrylightsThe last few sentences didn't make sense to me.
"Five days prior to the accident, Brian got hold of the news that Kayla had gotten out of her coma only to die of the excessive (and sudden) haemorrhaging in her brains."
Five days prior to the accident that happened in this story? Why was she in a coma? That was confusing...
But I really like it, overall. Good job.
9/4/2008 c1 1Mosaic Stains
Heya! As I always try to do between the busy schedule of my life, I'm here to repay the favor. So to get started:
I never understood why someone can choose to love someone else so much when the person doesn't love them back. I can understand loving a person that you know has some love for you but is with someone else, yet a selfish person... I think not.
Truthfully, I like the short (especially the way it began), but I feel that Kayla was stupid and naively blind to the fact that he not only didn't like her but didn't care for her to the point that when she did save his life it really didn't matter. Thank god I was never attracted to assholes like that.
I guess I do feel sorry for girls like that.
Nice Short! Until later.
Mosaic Stains
1Mosaic StainsHeya! As I always try to do between the busy schedule of my life, I'm here to repay the favor. So to get started:
I never understood why someone can choose to love someone else so much when the person doesn't love them back. I can understand loving a person that you know has some love for you but is with someone else, yet a selfish person... I think not.
Truthfully, I like the short (especially the way it began), but I feel that Kayla was stupid and naively blind to the fact that he not only didn't like her but didn't care for her to the point that when she did save his life it really didn't matter. Thank god I was never attracted to assholes like that.
I guess I do feel sorry for girls like that.
Nice Short! Until later.
Mosaic Stains
9/1/2008 c1 criti-sized
Well, from the summary I expected her to die, but somehow her getting hit by a car was a surprise. I'm not really one that cares much for stories where the girl feigns for some jerks attention, but this one was nice.
C.S.
Well, from the summary I expected her to die, but somehow her getting hit by a car was a surprise. I'm not really one that cares much for stories where the girl feigns for some jerks attention, but this one was nice.
C.S.
3/24/2007 c1 1Jaeiyola
Oh wow. Amazing one-shot. The introduction fits in to set the mood, and fills to what has happened so far.
Very sad piece, especially in that "I love you...", seemingly making Kayla's actions just wasted.
I love it.
1JaeiyolaOh wow. Amazing one-shot. The introduction fits in to set the mood, and fills to what has happened so far.
Very sad piece, especially in that "I love you...", seemingly making Kayla's actions just wasted.
I love it.
3/24/2007 c1 5Hilmary-Oceans
Oh wow. Good one-shot. I liked that a lot. Very simple, straight to the conclusion, with good descriptions. Well done. The first-person introduction was well written and original.
xoxo
Hilmary-Oceans
5Hilmary-OceansOh wow. Good one-shot. I liked that a lot. Very simple, straight to the conclusion, with good descriptions. Well done. The first-person introduction was well written and original.
xoxo
Hilmary-Oceans