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for The Beauty of Whispers

3/31/2007 c1 136Elliptical Shapes
Not bad, but might I give you some advice?

Usually in poetry if you use a word too many times, it lessens the piece; you used 'whisper' far too often and there are other words, lovely words you could use in its place, like 'susurrus'.

You've a nice style, it would be improved a great deal if you used more of the language available to you.

Keep writing,

Alan.

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