for Prodigy4/3/2007 c1 
70Bob Evans
This is an interesting turn from your usual work...well, okay maybe you don't have a "usual" yet, but it just seems different from your usual genre.
I have a friend up here who wrote a similiar story. Gentic engineering with the use of animal DNA, but this one is much different. I kind of feel like you skipped through Sam's earlier life a little too fast. Perhaps maybe a few scenes as her life expanded, but the quick summary helps move the plot along. Also, you told us the plot to the entire story right away. Mabe Sam would've waited to tell us this once she learned more from Vallon.
Ah well, I am curious to see what these "defenders of the Earth" do now. Let's see where you take us.
~Bob Evans
70Bob EvansThis is an interesting turn from your usual work...well, okay maybe you don't have a "usual" yet, but it just seems different from your usual genre.
I have a friend up here who wrote a similiar story. Gentic engineering with the use of animal DNA, but this one is much different. I kind of feel like you skipped through Sam's earlier life a little too fast. Perhaps maybe a few scenes as her life expanded, but the quick summary helps move the plot along. Also, you told us the plot to the entire story right away. Mabe Sam would've waited to tell us this once she learned more from Vallon.
Ah well, I am curious to see what these "defenders of the Earth" do now. Let's see where you take us.
~Bob Evans
4/1/2007 c1 12Moonlite Star
ahh...reminiscent of DA, of course. :P but me likes. keep writing! It's good to see you're writing again...:)
12Moonlite Starahh...reminiscent of DA, of course. :P but me likes. keep writing! It's good to see you're writing again...:)
4/1/2007 c1 20Frosthold
Very, very cool. There were a couple of errors, 'risk' instead of 'wrist' that sort of thing. Also you could use some dividers between the sections when it switches from 1st to 3rd person. I think its kind of funny how simiar some of the charaters are in this story to the ones in Nyx, one of my beter stories, I think. Sam reminds of me of Stelletha (Stella) and the girl who can turn into a shark shares some of her powers with Blue. Anyway, your story is extremely good and I can't wait to read more!
20FrostholdVery, very cool. There were a couple of errors, 'risk' instead of 'wrist' that sort of thing. Also you could use some dividers between the sections when it switches from 1st to 3rd person. I think its kind of funny how simiar some of the charaters are in this story to the ones in Nyx, one of my beter stories, I think. Sam reminds of me of Stelletha (Stella) and the girl who can turn into a shark shares some of her powers with Blue. Anyway, your story is extremely good and I can't wait to read more!