4/11/2007 c1 13miss-hyperactive
I love it.

I am like that too, my heart, but, the difference is that I have no one that can see beneath it, and tell lies from truth. If only. This story is great, I have no bad things to say. Good Job!

4/5/2007 c1 7The Egg
The end line was sort of interesting.

If you don't know how your story ends yet, then why do you say that it doesn't have a clich`e, happy ending? You don't know. It's almost like your asking for the ending of your story to be bad. Some people like to be miserable, and although this is very well-written, it's an overtly flowery description of having abandonment issues.

When people write about themselves they tend to do that...make everything really dramatic. Good thing that you realized how the piece as a whole sounded ('emo' :D) and made an author note about it...But when critisizing your own work make sure to put the AN's at the end so that the reader isn't distracted while reading.

You get it, though. Nice writing, but there's a lot of 'but's for me.

4.5/10