7/17/2007 c9 15Cactus Flower
Aw. Nice, relating it to her first painting while tying it up. I like Painter's advice to just paint emotions. It really does help sometimes.

I also like how at the end, when you say "final painting", we don't know if she means "final" as in the last one she'll ever do, or just "final" as in the finished painting. It leaves the ending open to tragic and comedic interpretation.

Overall, I think the play is very... not necessarily cute, but child-friendly while conveying an important message: to follow your passion. Well, that's how I interpreted it. Correct me if you were trying to get some other message across. However, a lot of it was telling and not showing (probably hate this phrase by now since the teachers always go on about it). Though the play flows well as it is, there were a lot of ideas that I believe you could have developed more. I liked the consistency with a flashback then explanation, but I think more could be added.

As a short play, though, it covers a lot. Keep writing!

♦Illusion♦

P.S. Now that I've gone through and reviewed you nine times, wanna read one of my stories? *hopeful grin* You don't have to review, though I would love it if you could give me feedback. Even though the story is a fan fic, you don't have to know the fandom to understand the story. Please, I'm very proud of it and I update regularly. It's called Fallen and you can find it through my homepage (click on "Fan Fiction", then "Juvenile Orion" and it should be the first story with the trailer, story, and art listed underneath).

P.P.S. Sorry for the self-advertisement. I know I'm being a bit arrogant and selfish, but I'd really love to know what you think.

7/17/2007 c7 Cactus Flower
Ah, never mind about the question in the last review.

Well, great artists/geniuses tend to have sucky personal lives... (Bizet, Mozart, etc.)

7/17/2007 c5 Cactus Flower
Hm. I like the dream sequence just because it seems so ordinary. Is Ben Beth's half-brother in the dream?

7/14/2007 c3 Cactus Flower
Ouch. Once again, sadly realistic, though I think I can sympathize a bit with Jen... trying to be nice but not quite saying it right. Ah, gotta leave for my plane soon. Sorry for the short review.

♦Illusion♦

7/12/2007 c1 Cactus Flower
Hi! *waves* Remember me? Pen name's changed and I haven't written any original fiction in forever, but bear with me for now, 'kay?

First off... I'm not quite sure what to think about Charlie. I get the feeling he'll grow on me but for now he's kind of awkward. It's kind of endearing but at the same time sad, if you know what I mean. I agree with his entire way of thinking of "black". Very true, very true. Yes, I think I'll come to like Charlie.

Second thing I want to say is just a little suggestion that you can laugh at before tossing it out a window on the fifth floor. Next time you post a complete story, it'd be a better marketing strategy to post a chapter once a week. It keeps the story towards the beginning of the browsing page longer, so it attracts more readers. Can you tell I've been doing this for way too long? ((laughs))

Well, I hope to see you when school starts at the very latest!

♦Illusion♦

P.S. I feel like adding to your review count and going through each chapter one by one. ^ ^

4/11/2007 c1 37TaltushMeiMei
I'm sorry. I just spotted your profile. I hate it when people leave vague reviews too, but when I leave complex ones, I get annoyed answers in response. Plus, just about all your sentiments are identical to mine (down to the sister criticism...) I'll try to be more specific now:

I think what I liked most about this play is that I understood Beth and I liked her a lot. The flashbacks got confusing, and the narraration made me wonder (isn't it supposed to be Beth?), but overall I really like the storyline. It's not too over-done and too dramatic (like many plays are). I like that I've found a serious play here and not just another comedy. This is really good. I also like the title, because I think titles mean a lot about the piece. I like to paint (I'm terrible), but mostly my art is through terrible writing and pretty bad music-making. It was really nice to read this. Anyways, once more, great job, and I hope this fulfilled your desire for a solid review.