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for Dust and Summer

4/14/2008 c1 Deleted37
Hey, this is a great story. I've been meaning to review for forever, but kept forgetting. ^^ Oops.

I found the first-person style very interesting, especially with the foreign tilt to all of Dust's thoughts-I've noticed that lots of people, when writing about nonhuman characters, entirely fail to take what must be basic, unalterable differences in temperament and worldview into account. You, however, showed both beautifully.

I also enjoyed your depiction of faerie and human interactions-the tension and mistrust, but also the potential for something more, as shown by the two main characters. It's too bad this is a oneshot, because I would've liked to see what happenned, and if Dust ever caught up to Summer, but at the same time it works just like it is.

Many thanks for a lovely read!

~Sincerely Agnes
1/3/2008 c1 14Unbeknownst
I really liked it. It looks as though there were a couple of typos, here and there in it, and I agree with another of your reviewers-the ending did get a little repetitive-but it's much, much nicer than most of the stuff you see on fictionpress. Good work. :)
5/6/2007 c1 feeder
First off, just for mentioning the Wild Hunt you deserve some kind of commendation.

Is this a one-shot? It reads like one, but it's maybe a little too passive at times. I like the tone though, it works well in creating an incongruous faerie. But the problem is that the narrator is essentially human in terms of thought. There is nothing that doesn't seem pretty much human about Dust apart from a few references to stuff like the Wild Hunt - the differences go no deeper than that.

"No tragic lovers in our tales, no deaths by disease or starvation" - as far as I know, there is a difference between immortality and invincibility. So can they never die at all then? It's a minor point, but it just wasn't very clear.

The repetition of 'patience' at the end is excessive, I think. It's effective up to a point, but you use it about 8 times in the last ten or so lines. So you might want to replace/remove a couple of them. Or you might not.

It's good though, as I said before, I like the tone. I also prefer 'faerie' type stuff to elves and all that kind of thing, so it's nice to see them make an appearance in a ficpress story, and the fact that it's well-written is a bonus. It's an interesting ending too. Good work.
4/14/2007 c1 2Casey Drake
Interesting... So now what happens?

:) CD
4/7/2007 c1 15Aunon
Slow start, but an awesome finish. I like your 1st person style.

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