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for Matthew Haley

11/6/2012 c3 5unidentifiedperson
Your writing is beautiful, I really enjoyed this!
7/14/2009 c3 Brenda Agaro
That was amazing and clever. I love how it flows and the perspective too. And the teacher's last names are clever as well.

An intriguing story. :-)
5/20/2009 c3 Anne
Go Matt! LOL! Just wondering, how did you ever come up with the concept. I absolutely love Luke and his antics and Matt as well. Least favorite is John. But I equally heart James and Mark. LOL! Nerds rule!

3/23/2009 c3 5I Murder on Impulse
Aw...such a sweet story

10/28/2008 c2 7Acantha Alleyoope
oops i forgot to fave you. i haven't read this yet, i'm saving it for tomorrow when i'll be procrastinating from writing a research paper.
10/28/2008 c1 Acantha Alleyoope
You said it right yourself:

"Well. I don’t hatemush, it’s just that. Okay, yeah. I hate it. More productive things could be happening. What’s stopping them. It’s a friggin’ comic book. What could go wrong with more violence and less of that other crap?"

I love this, its like chocolate. Like nutty chocolate, so its not all mush? wht a sucky analogy.
7/13/2008 c2 Weirderest

I love LUKEE!

[“Hey, can I have a cookie, Luke?” Mark held out of his hand like an expectant four year old.

“Sure,” Luke grinned, “Sell me your soul, first.”]

Man, you've really got to love these guys. And i really, really do.

[It gets me. Shallow kids. I mean, you're in high school, right? They force you to read books and assess things and they make you watch existentialist films to get you to start worrying about the world; you're fed anxiety and the future at light speed. And then there're just some teens who just don't think about it. Not an optimistic thing, like, I'm-not-going-to-worry-about-what-the-future-brings crap or even a good I-don't-care; it's like they just don't know.]

Matt, it gets to me too.

[“You’re saying all this ‘cuz you’re chicken shit.”]

LOL. Chicken shit. That's really funny.

[“Is the world not living up to your expectations?” Akira picked up her backpack next to the Geometry room’s door and shouldered it, “Idealism is a sad thing you know?”]

Akira is a cool girl. She's smart. I likke.

[Akira looked ahead for a bit. Then she spoke very slowly, often pausing mid-sentence: “Culture dictates that something is worth saying. Science dictates that something worth saying has to be something logical. Religion dictates that something worth saying is something logical if culture believes it is. But. The individual?” A wide smile spread across her face, “That’s a different story, I think.”

I looked at her.

“The individual dictates whether culture is worth believing in, and if an individual isn’t an individual, trapped in culture, then you could be sure that whenever that person talks, he doesn’t know what he’s talking about.”

“Then, maybe I’m the one who doesn’t know what I’m talking about,” I said flatly.

“Can you honestly say you’re an individual?”]

Real smart. Okay, so the brilliant-ness of your story is mind blowing. Its really got me thinking.

[Yeah. People should. Just. Not talk.

Christ Jesus.]

Woosh. I know what he feels like, i'm always - saying .. things and making zero sense. It blows.

[Luke looked up at all of us, “Man, I love you guys!”

“I love you, too, Luke!” Mark chimed.

“Me, too,” John piped in.

Everyone looked at me.

Luke gave me big puppy dog eyes.

I rolled my eyes, “Yeah.”

“Hey! Hey! Let’s kick the crap out of each other every week! We’ll call it ‘Tough Tuesday’!” Mark got excited.]

You're really hilarious. I want all of the guys for myself now. Especialy Luke. Although, Matt's got the sexy broody thing going on ..

[We’ve been raised on reverse-psychology since childhood. Unnecessary subtleties. If we were raised with brutal honesty, all of us would be studying in Study Hall and doing whatever the hell we wanted to in ‘Do-whatever-the-hell-you-want’ Hall.]

Dude, you're like giving me all this crazy insight!

[We were raised to lie.]

So. True.

[Come on, think about it. How else would dolphins be able to pick up that kind of behavior. Humans don‘t just go to the ocean every Saturday to have sex in the water, right where the dolphins could see them- That’s why they have pools and crap. Only mer-men and mermaids could do that anyway. Have sex twenty thousand leagues under the sea without drowning or without having to worry about getting carried off by the waves or getting caught in whirlpools or something.]

Hmm. That's a thought. Dolphins pawn! I love how Matt's always like thinking of this totally cool stuff while the rest of the gang is messing around. I wonder what they're thinkking.

[“Up yours.”

“Your mom’s.”

“Why’s everybody getting off my mom? Leave her out of this, man,”]

No, YOUR MOM! You know, your mom jokes just kill me. Everytime.

[Football teams‘re useless. It’s war in a stadium. War without motive? Entertainment for ninnies.]

Haha. War without motive. This is the funniest thing i've read, i can't get over the raw awesomeness of your story! Where did you come up with all this!

[Mark cringed, “That means any idiot like John can get into Harvard with a pretty face, cash up his ass and a number on his back.”

“Yup. Just about,” John shrugged with a smile.

“Wow. I’m screwed for college,” Luke ate while we walked.]

I really, really really love Luke.



OH! I paused. Crap.

Everyone twisted in their seats and looked at me.

My face was burning like an ant under a magnifying glass of a cruel and unusual boy.

Akira looked at me. Half-smiling, half-inquisitive.

I sank low into my seat. Are my clothes still on?

“HA! What’d I tell ya?” John bursted.

Ms. English looked at Akira, then at me, “We all know what’s on his mind.”

Everyone laughed and cheered and whistled and catcalled.

I sank lower. I feel naked.

Stupid mind games.]

AW. Poor guy!

[John got penalized with extra laps for happily skipping around the track. Idiot.]

Haha. I love John/Matt moments on the track.

[“Hey, you can’t get into my house anymore without the secret password!” John announced. “What’s the secret password, you guys?”

“AKIRA!” Mark and Luke shouted.]

Ohh, boys.

[Akira leaned her head on my shoulder and sighed.

My face was burning, again.

Is she-?]

Oh! :D
12/24/2007 c3 31freakyAngel
I CANNOT tell you how close to God you are to me right now. Man, this was SO worth me wasting an entire night of sleep.

I'm not proud to say this, but I will admit that I've read every single review that was given. Yes, I am a sad, pathetic teenager with no chance of getting sleep anytime soon. Sue me. Let me just say that I completely agree with each and every reviewer there, and more.

But first, before I move on to anything else:

Matthew, Mark, Luke and John, eh? Well, I can't understand why no one's asked you about it yet. Why'd you name your characters after the first 4 books in the New Testament? Was there supposed to be any significant meaning to them?

Second. I gotta say your sense of humour is so in touch with your writing style and, consequently, your characters that it ain't even funny no more. It ultimately gets to the readers themselves, you know? "It's not the story's plot that makes it work; it's the way it's written." Wise words from a wise woman (namely, me). Haha yeah, right.

Seriously, though. I love your writing style, down to the very last detail. Especially the sub-chapters and all; man, was that interesting. It makes a reader feel like he/she is constantly flitting in and out of the main character's life, catching excerpts and snippets here and there that nevertheless still forms a perfect story with nothing missing in between. They aren't exactly chapters when by themselves, and I thank you a thousand times for not making me click on that bloody link and wait ages for the webpages to load...

It's also refreshing to be able to experience life through the eyes of someone as unique and intriguing as Matt. He's a quirky one, if I may say so, and I love him - and you - for it. Sensitive, down-to-earth, shy, introverted, and a complete daydreamer - what's not to love about him? And the I'm-gonna-give-the-wrong-answers-even-though-I-know-I'd-look-stupid thing was really cool and genuine. I mean, there are some stories with this sort of characters, but they always come across as fake and angsty... Yours, on the other hand, makes Matt sound like he's genuinely bored of life, of being correct, of knowing stuff. He's the real deal if ever there was one, and this paragraph is way too bloody freakin' long.

Ha. New paragraph, woots!

Yeah, ignore my imaignary self. It'll go away soon.

So anyway, great job, and though I'd like to say more, my entire night of non-sleep is catching up with me now. Next time, if I can? Sorry. :P Keep being awesome!
11/24/2007 c3 eskimoxisses
Awesome story! I was hooked on by its quirky sense of humor...and i could honestly tell when the story reached its climax. Full floodgate of emotions rushed, and tore my speculating (love for certain genres- ) brain apart.

Wonderful, magnificent story..

And into the depths of romance I go..
9/1/2007 c3 stellar explosion
[I took a deep breath before I spoke, “… I didn’t know what Love was… It was my conception that Life didn’t require Love, so I never took notice of it. But, then…” I paused. I swallowed. “… I found out… I was wrong…”] Yay, there's that whole capitalization thing again. I Love that, haha.

I noticed that you don't capitalize love when Luke is talking about it. Is that because he understands love?

[You’re not getting away that easy.] Aww x a billion.

[He shouted with everything he had left in him.] Again, with those awesome one-liners...

[She chuckled and started making monkey noises.

“HEY!”] Omg, that's so fucking adorable. Maybe I'm one of those idealistic teenage girls Matt was thinking about earlier, but that made me like, want to skip around and give everyone flowers.

[I saw my long shadow growing in front of me. The sun was rising. I turned around to greet it.] Fuck, man. Why haven't you written a book yet? I mean, seriously? That whole twilight-roof-sunrise scene was the best.

Alright, I'm really tired, so I'm getting really lazy on this stupidass review. But, I really liked this whole story. It just amazes me. You wrote this in your sophomore year? Man, I don't think I'll ever be this good at writing. The way you described Matt's feelings, and the way you showed how much he changed from the beginning to the end, it's all done just so amazingly. I don't know what else to say, but hopefully you get the point.
9/1/2007 c2 stellar explosion
[Luke looked tired and older.] Funny how these things happen, you know? I'm not about to go on some bullshit rant about how "mature" I am for my age, because I know I'm not, but sometimes it's hard to feel young when you're not shallow like the majority of your high school. Is that what you were trying to get at?

[We all let out a universal sigh.

There was silence.

Luke looked up at all of us, “Man, I love you guys!”] Dunno what to say about this, just that I really like it. I love moments like those.

[“I want to see the sun set, stargaze for about eleven or twelve hours, you know, like have an all-day picnic? And I want to be there to watch it rise. Watch it rise and fall asleep right afterward. I want to sleep for a whole afternoon until it’s time for the sun to set again,” She sighed. “I just hate having sand in my pants.”] You should write a book, this story and all the little things you've written are just as good as or even better than a lot of the books I've read.

[“I can’t… it makes me feel weak when you’re not smiling…”] Standing up to a teacher or some other authority figure makes me feel like I'm a warrior saving the world. I like how Matt thinks about Akira. It's so.. like, sweet. And intense and awesome. I suck with words but basically, I can relate and I love it.

[He bit down into his chip-less cookie, “Cut it out.”] Those are the best. I always pick the chocolate chips out. I like how Meril went from rejecting to being rejected, her character development is really good.

[But… This was us, and if I could look at this world, and see so many messed up things… beyond all reasonable doubt… Butt-Face would remain.] That whole scene... just, wow. It made me cry. Well, not CRY, but like, my eyes got all watery and stuff. That was so powerful. Probably because, you know, I'm in that stage of my life right now. And I just know exactly what you mean by all this and I can relate so much.

[My jacket was keeping someone else warm, so I guess I didn’t mind the cold too much.] *insert girly giggles here*

[… I cried.] DUDE. Dude. Honestly, this was a little cliche, but I loved it nonetheless. I mean, it's all in the way you write it. It makes me feel it, you know?

Anyway. I loved this chapter just as much as the first. God, I love your writing. I think EVERYONE should read this.
9/1/2007 c1 stellar explosion
Hey again. Since I loved World Chicken so much, I figured I should get to reading more of your stuff. And I'm glad I did, because I think I love this story even more.

[We’re all best friends, but we have our designated ‘seriously-real best friend’ slots. Luke’s in mine.] I love this, because it's exactly how my best friends and I are. Also, the irrational/rational relationship Matt and Luke have, that's how my seriously-real best friend and I are. I'm Luke. Haha.

[Akira opened all the windows and the sunlight broke through the greyness and shone into our room.

Her skin. It glows in the sunlight.] Reminds of my own high school, and all the days spent in sunlit rooms with boys who have left me, in one way or another. I don't know how to explain it, but these lines really struck me.

[John ran out of his house screaming like a maniac and we all got into a huge water fight in front of the whole neighborhood.] Wow, I LOVE these boys. They remind me of my childhood. I used to only hang out with the boys around my neighborhood, and we'd always do things like this. Ahh, simpler times. Then we got older and started dating each other. Gross.

[Luke silently contemplated with his tongue sticking out before he looked at us, “It’s days like this that don’t have a name. Days like this that don’t happen as often as they should.”] Oh MAN. I honestly think this is one of the best one-liners I've read. You know, when I read books or listen to songs and stumble across a line that I really like, something that really speaks to me and like, just describes a feeling I have a hard time describing myself (I hope that makes sense), I just feel the need to write it down everywhere. Notebooks, homework, walls, other books. This is one of those lines. Thank for you thinking it up, and if I ever DO find myself writing it in the margins of my homework, I'll be sure to direct whoever asks to this story.

Also, I like the way Luke sticks out his tongue while thinking. Reminds me of the stupid boy the sunlit rooms remind me of.

[Don’t think about it. Don’t look at her, anymore. Make yourself forget. It’s easiest that way. You’ll have less to worry about.

Don’t think about it anymore.] I wonder if you/Matt listen to the songs and read the same books that I do.

[Man, oh, man. I’ve forgotten what it felt like to get this early in the morning. The air’s still clean.] I woke up around seven this morning, and I felt cleaner than I have in a long while. So this line really reminded me of that.

I read over this review and I realized that I talk about myself a lot, haha. Sorry about that. It's just that your writing reminds me of me and things having to do with me, and I guess I thought you would like that someone loves the things you write. I hope that makes sense, too.

I love how Life is capitalized just like Love is in World Chicken.

Also, Luke is my new boyfriend, even though I'm still marrying Roman.
8/11/2007 c3 Unknowning
I'm finished reading the entire story now :] I really liked the ending. The last line was perfect: "My name’s Matt, and I love Akira." In the beginning, Matt didn't seem to know who he was. I like the character development in this story because he really does change throughout the story. Love changed him, and you made that clear. I finally do understand Akira. She thought that by changing how she looked on the outside, she wouldn't have to risk getting hurt again. But Matt saw right through that and saw something beautiful. It scared her, and she reverted back to what she was before. By changing, she would be be able to kind of lose Matt without really losing him. John was an intersting character. I like how he saw Alicia in Akira, and how he found her again at the end. The end tied up everything nicely, no loose ends or anything. And Luke is still like, the best friend ever. He just rocks. This was a great read :]
8/10/2007 c2 Unknowning
Wow, this story is awesome. I think that Matt is my favorite character of all time. I understand him completely. I like how you write "Cheers, Luke. Cheers." I'm quite envious of his friendship with Luke. Luke is the best friend someone could have: they're not afraid not to make fun of you but they know when not to cross the line. The thing about Matt being Luke's door mat is genius, a real play on his name and character. Matthew's character is solid in this story. He's not an overly complex guy and anyone can relate to him. The only character that confuses me slightly is Akira. Why did she change? Was she afraid that Matt was going to "cross the line" and felt that she had to change? It's interesting how you name some of the characters, like Mr. Geometry and Mr. Principal. And the way that Matt calls the substitute "master" made me laugh really hard. It reminds me of a substitute we had this past year. I'm convinced she's on something.

This was one of my favorite lines, it's what was one of the most memorable things about this chapter: "This was us, and if I could look at this world, and see so many messed up things… beyond all reasonable doubt… Butt-Face would remain."

I like the romance in this story. It's not your average high school teen drama/romance. It's more than that, and I think it's because of Matthew. Oh, and the last part, so Luke is adopted? Wow. I can't imagine Matt without Luke, or even worse Luke without Matt. I'll read the next chapter soon. Great read, I wasn't disappointed!
8/7/2007 c1 Unknowning
Wow. This is one of the best stories I've read on fictionpress. Seriously. I can relate so much to the main character, it's almost scary. The conversations are so real. I love Matthew, I love his friends, I just love everything about it. I can't think of a single negative (or negative-like whatever that means) thing to say about this. I think that's what I love the most about this story, the dialouge. It just flows naturally and doesn't seem stiff or fake like in other stories I've read by other people. This is really good. It reminds me of tenth grade, which is kind of scarring but great at the same time haha. I will definitely be reading the rest of this. I can't now because I'm sure I'm about to fall asleep on my keyboard so expect reviews later. Excellent job.

Random: I like your pen name, it's creative. I have a thing about pen names, its weird.
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