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for When The Lights Are Down

4/30/2007 c6 2nstark89
Love it so far!


PS: I hope you realize that your last two chapters are the same one.
4/11/2007 c2 thechildsalias
I think this story is looking pretty good! The prologue got me interested and the first chapter has set the scene; now I'm ready for a little more story! ;)

Just a suggestion, try varying the length of your sentences a little. The prologue was better, but I found that in the first chapter all the sentences were long and had the same rhythm. It might have been because it was just a 'scene-setting' chapter, but in the future it'll enhance the mood if you can make a few sentences snappy and to the point.

Other than that, a job very well done!
4/8/2007 c1 174a silenced revolution
Wow. That was... Extremely tragic. Not really my kind of story, but aside from a few grammar errors, it seemed pretty well written. Good work.

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