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for Voices in the Dark

5/30/2010 c1 2063M2R
Nice and dark.

There's one thing I'd like to point out though, I think there are too many fullstops (dots). It is breaking the flow, not helping to create suspense.

I think you've the potential to be a writer. Your descriptions are vivid, your vocabulary is wide.

This is one of the best writes I've seen around, especially with all these sophisticated words you use.

If you ever write a novel, I can imagine it being a literature text one day. I love to dream (: But yeah, you deserved to be recognized.

Keep writing :)
7/10/2008 c1 20Twilight Starr
Very gross ending line. Great title. Nice work.

~Twilight Starr~
3/4/2008 c1 5Hoodwynk
Hm..Was there more gore originally? Nice malicious Kadin. Good villian...
3/4/2008 c1 Beowolf
Well done. It does leave some questions unanswered, like what happened "that day", and it is somewhat difficult for the reader to figure out what's going on, but overall it's very good. I especially liked the beginning and ending lines.
9/22/2007 c1 1SinxWithxAxGrin
That would be weird to see..someone arguing w/ themself about killing someone, that would be a pointer that they needed to see someone. Pretty good, creative idea w/ the whole split personality thing. I just have no idea what they're talking about when they mentioned the "that day".
6/10/2007 c1 4nadorj
Your really good at storys!

And this one is great :]]

keep writing
4/12/2007 c1 3Princess Daenerys
Oh my god. Amazing! I hope you got an A+ on this...because you deserved it. I really fell secretly in love with the character Kadin...he was so...so deep...

The only problem I had with this was when Kain let out a "teehee"...its just extremely out of place. Instead, you might want to describe his laugh, if you know what I mean.

Awesome job. I cannot wait to see what else you come up with!
4/8/2007 c1 2Blue Drifter
Nice. I can see why you got an A. Why does Kadin pause after evey word? But this is a great one-shot. You can write, dude.

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