for Attack of the Killer Shrimp II
45/29/2007 c11 Ms. Critic
Very good. Lasagna, chocolate, what else will kill the shrimp? Tacos?
Several errors that I am editingly correcting. "Then many months LATER" not latter. Effectively, not affectively. Were-shrimp, not wereshrinp. 10 Percent of the population, or maybe 10 people. Which is it? Bob wrote a novel about HIS tragic experiences, not HID. Another latter, about Frank.
Yeah, a cliffhanger! Does that mean book three? It better, or I'll be very angry...
Tell Mr. Evans, Mr. TT-da-Lamanite, Ms. Ling, and Ms. Jadeisms to please hurry up with their story! I want to read the rest of it!
Oh, what is Double A talkin' about? I'll ask her!
Very good. Lasagna, chocolate, what else will kill the shrimp? Tacos?
Several errors that I am editingly correcting. "Then many months LATER" not latter. Effectively, not affectively. Were-shrimp, not wereshrinp. 10 Percent of the population, or maybe 10 people. Which is it? Bob wrote a novel about HIS tragic experiences, not HID. Another latter, about Frank.
Yeah, a cliffhanger! Does that mean book three? It better, or I'll be very angry...
Tell Mr. Evans, Mr. TT-da-Lamanite, Ms. Ling, and Ms. Jadeisms to please hurry up with their story! I want to read the rest of it!
Oh, what is Double A talkin' about? I'll ask her!
5/29/2007 c10 Ms. Critic
Oh that's funny! Macho phrases and kung-fu. And Bob actually had a good idea! Why a Nintendo DS? Why not PSP? And do shrimps even have blood? Or brains?
Mistake: "But first hear ME out" not my.
I'm almost done! This is very funny. Much better than the first. Plus, where did Frank get a gun?
Oh that's funny! Macho phrases and kung-fu. And Bob actually had a good idea! Why a Nintendo DS? Why not PSP? And do shrimps even have blood? Or brains?
Mistake: "But first hear ME out" not my.
I'm almost done! This is very funny. Much better than the first. Plus, where did Frank get a gun?
5/29/2007 c9 Ms. Critic
Ooh ooh ooh!
A were-shrimp! Cool! This plot is getting very good! and much more serious.
Mistakes: "No talking, humans." Not taking.
Antennae, not antennas. Like the plural of deer is deer.
Hopping around, not hoping.
Other than those, very creative! (Have you noticed I've given up on Punctuation?)
Wait, if BI is a were-shrimp, than the shrimp that bit him was a were-shrimp. That means that shrimp must have been bitten by something, like a VAMPIRE! I knew they should have used garlic!
Adios
Ooh ooh ooh!
A were-shrimp! Cool! This plot is getting very good! and much more serious.
Mistakes: "No talking, humans." Not taking.
Antennae, not antennas. Like the plural of deer is deer.
Hopping around, not hoping.
Other than those, very creative! (Have you noticed I've given up on Punctuation?)
Wait, if BI is a were-shrimp, than the shrimp that bit him was a were-shrimp. That means that shrimp must have been bitten by something, like a VAMPIRE! I knew they should have used garlic!
Adios
5/29/2007 c8 Ms. Critic
Yay! Very good! The shrimp aren't that smart, are they? I mean they told Frank where the king was! Well, if he had only listened...
Several punc. errors; you spelled Britain, later, riddence, and supposed wrong.
I'm liking this story! You should turn it into a children's book, with full color pictures! Won't that be AWESOME! Still goin'
Yay! Very good! The shrimp aren't that smart, are they? I mean they told Frank where the king was! Well, if he had only listened...
Several punc. errors; you spelled Britain, later, riddence, and supposed wrong.
I'm liking this story! You should turn it into a children's book, with full color pictures! Won't that be AWESOME! Still goin'
5/29/2007 c7 Ms. Critic
This is your longest chapter! Yeah!
You spelled soldiers wrong, and did you mean "That IS the shrimp army, sir"? Only a few punctuation errors, and I'm going to let you find them. This is your most action-y chapter, but nowhere near as action-y as TSG2AFW. But who's comparing?
Very good so far. N is talking to T, and he is saying look at my reviews.
This is your longest chapter! Yeah!
You spelled soldiers wrong, and did you mean "That IS the shrimp army, sir"? Only a few punctuation errors, and I'm going to let you find them. This is your most action-y chapter, but nowhere near as action-y as TSG2AFW. But who's comparing?
Very good so far. N is talking to T, and he is saying look at my reviews.
5/29/2007 c6 Ms. Critic
This is the most serious chapter yet. That is a problem.
Punctuation mistakes. Here is a little English lesson: when writing dialogue, it is "I need a bathroom," said Bob. Not "I need a bathroom" Said Bob, or "I need a bathroom." Said Bob.
'Kay? Now the word is spelled "a lot." It is two words. Also, It is "Now Bob," said the king shrimp sinisterly. "We're going to have..." There are two sentences. Very funny otherwise! Next chapter...
This is the most serious chapter yet. That is a problem.
Punctuation mistakes. Here is a little English lesson: when writing dialogue, it is "I need a bathroom," said Bob. Not "I need a bathroom" Said Bob, or "I need a bathroom." Said Bob.
'Kay? Now the word is spelled "a lot." It is two words. Also, It is "Now Bob," said the king shrimp sinisterly. "We're going to have..." There are two sentences. Very funny otherwise! Next chapter...
5/29/2007 c5 Ms. Critic
Lotta punctuation mistakes. (Ranger Wade says hi)
Munchkin 2 is singing.
"I don't know," said Frank...
"...Now pass the pasta." Frank was...
"I think I'll go get some fresh air."
The sun was out, the trees were green (well they certainly weren't purple), and there were little butterflies being eaten by hungry...
B.I. screamed, "...
B.I. looked...
Some more, figure them out for yourself.
The original RBRW in the previous review went-
"Ooh. I miss Amy terribly. Here is a poem:
Roses are red
Blood is too
Be my Valentine
Or I'll poop on you"
Don't tell him I sent that.
See y'all.
Lotta punctuation mistakes. (Ranger Wade says hi)
Munchkin 2 is singing.
"I don't know," said Frank...
"...Now pass the pasta." Frank was...
"I think I'll go get some fresh air."
The sun was out, the trees were green (well they certainly weren't purple), and there were little butterflies being eaten by hungry...
B.I. screamed, "...
B.I. looked...
Some more, figure them out for yourself.
The original RBRW in the previous review went-
"Ooh. I miss Amy terribly. Here is a poem:
Roses are red
Blood is too
Be my Valentine
Or I'll poop on you"
Don't tell him I sent that.
See y'all.
5/29/2007 c4 Ms. Critic
Awesome! Things with the news are always funny. Ricky should have said "OH MY GOSH! WHAT IS THIS? A! IT'S EATING MY EYEBALLS!
And "A! TO THE LEFT! OW! NOT SO HARD! HURRY IT'S BURROWING..."
I changed the words it, owe, and is.
"Whew," sighed Sheryl. "Got the little bugger."
Ranger Bloody Ranger Wade says-
"o. Here is a message for everybody:
Scratches are red
Bruises are blue
That's what you'll look like
When I'm done with you!
See ya, on the other side.
-E&N
Awesome! Things with the news are always funny. Ricky should have said "OH MY GOSH! WHAT IS THIS? A! IT'S EATING MY EYEBALLS!
And "A! TO THE LEFT! OW! NOT SO HARD! HURRY IT'S BURROWING..."
I changed the words it, owe, and is.
"Whew," sighed Sheryl. "Got the little bugger."
Ranger Bloody Ranger Wade says-
"o. Here is a message for everybody:
Scratches are red
Bruises are blue
That's what you'll look like
When I'm done with you!
See ya, on the other side.
-E&N
5/29/2007 c3 Ms. Critic
Hahahahahahahaha...I am very offended. Not say the name of our great leader? I'm posting a complaint!
It should be (editingly speaking) "Mr. President whose name and political party aren't mentioned in this story so that people won't get offended and not post a review for the story..."
I like that word: editingly. I'm going to get it in the dictionary! But I'll need your help! Can you say editingly? Say editingly, say editingly! Great!
For those of you who couldn't tell, the last part was making fun of Dora.
But back to the story. Very funny! Now to C4.
Hahahahahahahaha...I am very offended. Not say the name of our great leader? I'm posting a complaint!
It should be (editingly speaking) "Mr. President whose name and political party aren't mentioned in this story so that people won't get offended and not post a review for the story..."
I like that word: editingly. I'm going to get it in the dictionary! But I'll need your help! Can you say editingly? Say editingly, say editingly! Great!
For those of you who couldn't tell, the last part was making fun of Dora.
But back to the story. Very funny! Now to C4.
5/29/2007 c2 Ms. Critic
Ha Ha. This is better than the first one, because there are more chapters and characters. It's really funny, because the things Bob carries are the same things I carry around! Scary.
First: Punctuation.
"Oh, bad," said B.I. (:D)
"My dad's gonna kill me," said Frank.
Frank and B.I. followed John to the...
"Yep," said Frank...
"We should tell the president," said B.I.
Second: Spelling.
Definitely
Other than those, very good.
Lastly, this story is crap! TheThe characters are unreal, the plot is too slow, or non-existent, and the joke aren't even funny!" Bye!
Ha Ha. This is better than the first one, because there are more chapters and characters. It's really funny, because the things Bob carries are the same things I carry around! Scary.
First: Punctuation.
"Oh, bad," said B.I. (:D)
"My dad's gonna kill me," said Frank.
Frank and B.I. followed John to the...
"Yep," said Frank...
"We should tell the president," said B.I.
Second: Spelling.
Definitely
Other than those, very good.
Lastly, this story is crap! TheThe characters are unreal, the plot is too slow, or non-existent, and the joke aren't even funny!" Bye!
5/29/2007 c1 Ms. Critic
Hello. Very good. Short and Sweet. Could totally be a best-selling novel. Some mistakes you should fix before you show this to the world: "sold his soul to the devil four times, just today alone" too many comma's and and's. It is "of COURSE" not "of COARSE." Oh! On your home page, under The Animator, it should be "AT the moment", not "A the moment". Don't wanna give new guests the wrong idea. IMPORTANT: Tell Bob Evans that Chp 4 is kinda boring, so he should post Chp 5 really quickly. You don't want to leave readers starving for horrific action. Now to Chapter 2!
Hello. Very good. Short and Sweet. Could totally be a best-selling novel. Some mistakes you should fix before you show this to the world: "sold his soul to the devil four times, just today alone" too many comma's and and's. It is "of COURSE" not "of COARSE." Oh! On your home page, under The Animator, it should be "AT the moment", not "A the moment". Don't wanna give new guests the wrong idea. IMPORTANT: Tell Bob Evans that Chp 4 is kinda boring, so he should post Chp 5 really quickly. You don't want to leave readers starving for horrific action. Now to Chapter 2!
5/2/2007 c11 Double A
Yay! Ding Dong the witch is dead! Oops! wrong story.
Ding dong the shrimp king is dead, again, hmm... I wonder. Oh well. Chocolate now? how long till they figure out how to defeat it? Im guessing you intend to make it a trilligy? or is it just a good ending?
you should put NINOMIV, NIMOVEM, NINO-somthing, up here no mater how silly it gets. (dont ask me how I know about it)
Bye! Keep Writing,and all that carp
Double A
Yay! Ding Dong the witch is dead! Oops! wrong story.
Ding dong the shrimp king is dead, again, hmm... I wonder. Oh well. Chocolate now? how long till they figure out how to defeat it? Im guessing you intend to make it a trilligy? or is it just a good ending?
you should put NINOMIV, NIMOVEM, NINO-somthing, up here no mater how silly it gets. (dont ask me how I know about it)
Bye! Keep Writing,and all that carp
Double A
5/2/2007 c9 Double A
A wereshrimp! are you crazy! SO Im gusseing that Frank's idea has something to do the shrimp king, but I dont want to spoile anything for those dum people out there that can never figure anything out on their own.
Keep Writing! Double A
A wereshrimp! are you crazy! SO Im gusseing that Frank's idea has something to do the shrimp king, but I dont want to spoile anything for those dum people out there that can never figure anything out on their own.
Keep Writing! Double A