for A Penny For Your Thoughts8/29/2011 c24 JudasMonster
I can tell you tried your best on this, and I know writing isn't easy, so I applaud you.. Here are my thoughts:
Where did Maggie come from? Justin just told Jason and Chris he thought Maggie did it, when she wasn't introduced in the story prior. I thought that was a bit abrupt.
Also, the ending was really rushed. What was the resolution exactly? Kissing? And a vague notion they're going to have sex? Mhhm...
The one intercourse scene seemed really stiff. You shouldn't fret so much about how embarrassing they are to write! Anonyminity on the internet is sublime, but if your irl friends read this... I suppose it could get a little awkward.
Am I the only one, but did Chris and Jason's relationship just seem cold? Why does he love him other than how hot he is or whatever? Did they actually ever go on conventional dates or something? I think some "bonding" time could've remedied that.
The pov switches were a bit disconcerting. Maybe use line breakers or a simple "-" in between switches?
That's all I can think of... Other than that, I liked the concept of the story, the delivery... Meh.
-JudasMonster
I can tell you tried your best on this, and I know writing isn't easy, so I applaud you.. Here are my thoughts:
Where did Maggie come from? Justin just told Jason and Chris he thought Maggie did it, when she wasn't introduced in the story prior. I thought that was a bit abrupt.
Also, the ending was really rushed. What was the resolution exactly? Kissing? And a vague notion they're going to have sex? Mhhm...
The one intercourse scene seemed really stiff. You shouldn't fret so much about how embarrassing they are to write! Anonyminity on the internet is sublime, but if your irl friends read this... I suppose it could get a little awkward.
Am I the only one, but did Chris and Jason's relationship just seem cold? Why does he love him other than how hot he is or whatever? Did they actually ever go on conventional dates or something? I think some "bonding" time could've remedied that.
The pov switches were a bit disconcerting. Maybe use line breakers or a simple "-" in between switches?
That's all I can think of... Other than that, I liked the concept of the story, the delivery... Meh.
-JudasMonster
8/28/2011 c13 JudasMonster
Chris should be with Justin. Really, what do Jason and Chris have other than physical attraction? It just seems like Justin's character has more depth; the anime thing, the nerdy games, the Link costume, etc. Maybe once we hear about Jason's story about Florida we can sympathize more with him. And tbh, Justin is hotter, buahahaaha.
Chris should be with Justin. Really, what do Jason and Chris have other than physical attraction? It just seems like Justin's character has more depth; the anime thing, the nerdy games, the Link costume, etc. Maybe once we hear about Jason's story about Florida we can sympathize more with him. And tbh, Justin is hotter, buahahaaha.
7/30/2011 c24 Fumiki
This story made my day (yes I read the whole 24 chapter in one day. Call it procrastination) At first I thought you were going to change the couple from Chris x Jason to Chris x Justin (with the title and all) so I was about to stop reading cause I don't like that kind of twist, specially since I was already starting to like Jason, but then I look at my History homework, and said 'oh fk it' and continue reading. Oh how I glad I didn't stop. LOVING this!
Thanks for writing such an amazing story =)
This story made my day (yes I read the whole 24 chapter in one day. Call it procrastination) At first I thought you were going to change the couple from Chris x Jason to Chris x Justin (with the title and all) so I was about to stop reading cause I don't like that kind of twist, specially since I was already starting to like Jason, but then I look at my History homework, and said 'oh fk it' and continue reading. Oh how I glad I didn't stop. LOVING this!
Thanks for writing such an amazing story =)
8/4/2010 c21 
1jag finns inte
ive accepted that its gonna be chris and jason... but i still like justin better
1jag finns inteive accepted that its gonna be chris and jason... but i still like justin better
8/4/2010 c12 jag finns inte
I so knew it was Justin! I actually like him a lot better than Jason... mostly because he's a lot like one of my friends
I so knew it was Justin! I actually like him a lot better than Jason... mostly because he's a lot like one of my friends
7/13/2010 c6 Dark Lynnette
How cute. I'm enjoying the voice of the narrator and am really curious how the rest of the friends will react once the cat is out of the bag. The family dynamics are also pretty interesting.
How cute. I'm enjoying the voice of the narrator and am really curious how the rest of the friends will react once the cat is out of the bag. The family dynamics are also pretty interesting.
5/4/2009 c18 Natalya87
That was just so lame about Dillian and Rick. Would real friends act like that? this part ruined whole story for me!
That was just so lame about Dillian and Rick. Would real friends act like that? this part ruined whole story for me!
12/15/2008 c24 15Minikimii
Amazing. I love it. XD Although, I thought the whole JustinxChris thing was cute, JasonxChris was cuter!
Ah... Funny how I live in AZ too. XD I wonder if Chris and Jason are the gay couple in my neighborhood?
Lawls.
Ok, that was stupid.
Anyways, I loved it. Amazing job, hun.
-Minikimii
15MinikimiiAmazing. I love it. XD Although, I thought the whole JustinxChris thing was cute, JasonxChris was cuter!
Ah... Funny how I live in AZ too. XD I wonder if Chris and Jason are the gay couple in my neighborhood?
Lawls.
Ok, that was stupid.
Anyways, I loved it. Amazing job, hun.
-Minikimii