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for candle

6/24/2007 c1 54kaylajac
here i feel like you took a great idea and didn't paint it vibrantly enough. i understand the limitations of haikus though, because i've had to write them before and found it frustrating. here's my advice- it's easier to portray a small, even insigificant moment in a haiku, rather than a more broad and sweeping concept like this, only because a broad concept really deserves more syllables :]
6/12/2007 c1 Ellesmere
I'm too lazy to sign in right now lol. But a lot has changed for me and i was just browsing fictionpress when i happened upon another one of your flawless poems:)

i really like this one. Haikus to me are the greatest. They say so much in so few words and you handled this excellently! Nice work;)
5/27/2007 c1 463All Alone With Her Thoughts
Nice! Very good image of a candle.

Thanks for the review, by the way.

5/4/2007 c1 15liz anya
I like the message, but the delivery could use refining.
4/24/2007 c1 322Basara
idealistic hope...

4/23/2007 c1 26Dragonslostchild
I like the idea here, the light holding back the darkness is always beautiful (no matter how many times it's done), but for some reason it doesn't flow as well as your last two. I think maybe you'd have to expand it more to get a fuller idea. *shrug*

But still pretty nice.

4/22/2007 c1 3Temeraire
I like the idea. However, the way you portrayed it could be done a little better. The haiku doesn't have much of an impact on me, and the imagery isn't particularly...vibrant. Well, what I'm saying is that the image doesn't come alive while I'm reading the haiku. I have to literally force myself to picture a candle wavering in the night.

On the other hand, as I said, the idea is a good one. The execution just left something to be desired.

4/21/2007 c1 1DudeInHyrule
Pretty nice!
4/21/2007 c1 81Princess-anna57
Gorgeous. I couldn't have said it better. Write on! ^_^

~Anna~ ^_^

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