3/14/2011 c1 snorlaxing
I like the simile used for the wind's wielding "like a slavemasters whip", makes it more brutal and painful. "barely-bud leaves", suggesting the young, immature, pure leaves, is heavily contrasted with the "venomous tip", evil and poisonous tip.

I like the personification of the flowers "scoliosis-licked". The word "lick" is kinda haunting and creepy, which sets the creepy mood in the poem. "Sedative fragrance" gives the idea of an induced sleep, which is a "delight to the nerves" really brings out the uneasiness and eeriness of this poem.

Good diction!

I like how you said the "sky is washed in orange and blue" because its like the sky was watercoloured in those colours.

The rhyme scheme gives this poem a good beat to it.

But can you explain how this is related to the title Wrinkle? Thanks!

My interpretation is that wrinkle probably means old and someone who has gone through a lot of difficulties and wrinkles are the evidence of these tough journeys. So maybe that nature/the garden has gone through the same painful torture of the other elements of nature many times and now is old, used to the adversities and still survives.

5/23/2007 c1 12Bonjour Skitty
Wow, this was beautiful.. the descriptions were vivid, yet had a subtle darkness within them. The rhythm flowed nicely and I actually noticed the rhyme scheme. Overall, great job.

4/23/2007 c1 polka dots and addictions
this was a really pretty read. the rhyming is done perfectly but nicely subtle, & i like the simple structure- really works well with the poem. nicely written. ~Bex xx