for Mirror, Mirror8/10/2010 c1 
87Chaos Apple
I don't think you remember me, but you used to call me Alice.
As in: Wonderland. As in: Is Dying.
This poem is brilliant. I loved the diction you used, and the way you set things up. "Decorated with self-inflicted scars" is probably my favorite line, as well as "a silend testament to ruthless torture" and "She smiled for me, and was beautiful."
You have a great grasp of alliteration, especially when you said "as an angel emerged" and "flawless facade". Those simple but skillful additions greatly enhance your overall piece.
87Chaos AppleI don't think you remember me, but you used to call me Alice.
As in: Wonderland. As in: Is Dying.
This poem is brilliant. I loved the diction you used, and the way you set things up. "Decorated with self-inflicted scars" is probably my favorite line, as well as "a silend testament to ruthless torture" and "She smiled for me, and was beautiful."
You have a great grasp of alliteration, especially when you said "as an angel emerged" and "flawless facade". Those simple but skillful additions greatly enhance your overall piece.
5/3/2007 c1 8then.in.winter
Hi, it's me, winterpine (reviewed "I've got a theory"). Using logos in an argument would be like using examples to illustrate your point in a clearer way, not just relying on pathos -or passion- to get you through the essay.
As for this little drabble, I liked it. The twist at the end surprised me, I thought she was looking at someone else (despite the title). I especially liked the imagery of your second sentence, that was pretty awesome. Just make sure that your stuff doesn't get over-the-top angsty... btw, are you going to add onto this? That would be cool.
Keep writing,
wp
8then.in.winterHi, it's me, winterpine (reviewed "I've got a theory"). Using logos in an argument would be like using examples to illustrate your point in a clearer way, not just relying on pathos -or passion- to get you through the essay.
As for this little drabble, I liked it. The twist at the end surprised me, I thought she was looking at someone else (despite the title). I especially liked the imagery of your second sentence, that was pretty awesome. Just make sure that your stuff doesn't get over-the-top angsty... btw, are you going to add onto this? That would be cool.
Keep writing,
wp