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2/3/2009 c1 49Endowment's Seraph
I really love the punctuation and enjambment you use I think it makes it move nicely and really accentuates the end words. nice choice on those, too. I also like the repetition. One thing that I think would make this poem so much stronger is to take out the last line "unlike you" and end it "in the sea of lies". "unlike you" has already been made evident earlier on with your line "but my eyes can see". Just my advice. I like it a lot though, specially "You think you're breaking/ insitutional chains/ when you're just another link" great stuff.

~Mel

P.S. Thanks for your review, sorry it took me so long to extend the favor.
3/2/2008 c1 28Erisah Mae
I've decided to add a set of initials everytime I meet someone new who fits this song.

For no reason other than catharsis.

RJ, SBC, MGK, DA, TB, TZ.

F** you all.

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