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4/29/2007 c1 37TaltushMeiMei
Umm. Okay. I get what you want to say, but I don't think this is the way to say it. While having a touch of disorientation can help a poem often, this is a bit too crazy. In no way, sense, or form does this honestly feel like a piece of poetry nor quality writing. If you want to try to capture the feel of a self-argument, make it a story, not a poem like this with all caps, screams, bolds, and drama. "?", I've found, doesn't often feel appropriate for poetry. Here it feels even less appropriate, almost as though warning me away. I'd suggest taking your idea and trying to write a short story. I was unable to relate to this poem in this form, though I understand what you wanted to relay. Try with a different format, and good luck!

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