for Third World11/30/2008 c1 
4Reine Ayten
The beautiful landscape is darkened by that one body... You did a wonderful job on the descriptions, made me *see* the picture very well. Keep writing. :)
4Reine AytenThe beautiful landscape is darkened by that one body... You did a wonderful job on the descriptions, made me *see* the picture very well. Keep writing. :)
5/15/2008 c1 4sad-infamy
so basically this asian soldier dude is lying dead with bullets in his body. Ok. i guess that's cool. There's no plot I see, just descriptions. I'm fine with that. I have to respect that because I kinda suck at descriptions myself. Heh. And a reference to opium. I remember that from history class when i was accidently listening. The opium war with uh, china and britain, right? Opiums a drug, right. Did he drink it or something? Or is it just to say that this is in China or someplace? Anyway neat work.
4sad-infamyso basically this asian soldier dude is lying dead with bullets in his body. Ok. i guess that's cool. There's no plot I see, just descriptions. I'm fine with that. I have to respect that because I kinda suck at descriptions myself. Heh. And a reference to opium. I remember that from history class when i was accidently listening. The opium war with uh, china and britain, right? Opiums a drug, right. Did he drink it or something? Or is it just to say that this is in China or someplace? Anyway neat work.
2/20/2008 c1 5shadowoflight22
Dang...talk about about what happens after death. This is really good. I was able to use the details you gave me to create a nearly perfect picture in my mind.
5shadowoflight22Dang...talk about about what happens after death. This is really good. I was able to use the details you gave me to create a nearly perfect picture in my mind.
11/18/2007 c1 1Amaranthus Black
I didn't know that opium has a scent... but it was easier to understand it when I was reading it myself. Well job. Even if it was a little sad.
1Amaranthus BlackI didn't know that opium has a scent... but it was easier to understand it when I was reading it myself. Well job. Even if it was a little sad.
11/4/2007 c1 9Sugarloafin
Impressive descriptions! I really like how the flowers are crimson, showing the beauty of the color in them then showing the color again in the form of the boy's blood. Very good details and I love the contrast between the pristine, beautiful landscape and dead boy. Very nice work, it's all very vivid and wonderful.
9SugarloafinImpressive descriptions! I really like how the flowers are crimson, showing the beauty of the color in them then showing the color again in the form of the boy's blood. Very good details and I love the contrast between the pristine, beautiful landscape and dead boy. Very nice work, it's all very vivid and wonderful.
8/2/2007 c1 13Alaizabel Davis
This is amazing. The contrast between the dead boy and the beautiful landscape is really powerful... You definitely captured the message you were trying to get across and the description creates a strong image. Great work! :)
eahopkins
13Alaizabel DavisThis is amazing. The contrast between the dead boy and the beautiful landscape is really powerful... You definitely captured the message you were trying to get across and the description creates a strong image. Great work! :)
eahopkins
5/29/2007 c1 6Carmel March
Simply wonderful. Very realistic. This is an amazing piece of work.
~carm~
6Carmel MarchSimply wonderful. Very realistic. This is an amazing piece of work.
~carm~
5/3/2007 c1 12R.L. Keane
Beautifully written. You truly have a way with words. Your descriptions are brilliant.
12R.L. KeaneBeautifully written. You truly have a way with words. Your descriptions are brilliant.
5/2/2007 c1 1AluminumMuse
Ooh, still love. I think the first chapter could be broken up to make it read with a more constant rithme, but otherwise quite nifty.
-La
1AluminumMuseOoh, still love. I think the first chapter could be broken up to make it read with a more constant rithme, but otherwise quite nifty.
-La