for Future Generations5/2/2007 c1 
95Stewart MacDonald
Great job, Chels! I thought this was very nicely done. Myself; I suck with poems, unless their short, curt and blunt. But I do enjoy reading the occasionaly good poem, and this was one of them.
I don't think "'Cause in the end' Was pointless. The rest of the poem would make no sense without it! Anyways, I don't know how many different ways I could say I loved it, (Though I'm sure I could keep going all night) so I'll wrap things up.
Amazing poem, and I hope to see more from you!
95Stewart MacDonaldGreat job, Chels! I thought this was very nicely done. Myself; I suck with poems, unless their short, curt and blunt. But I do enjoy reading the occasionaly good poem, and this was one of them.
I don't think "'Cause in the end' Was pointless. The rest of the poem would make no sense without it! Anyways, I don't know how many different ways I could say I loved it, (Though I'm sure I could keep going all night) so I'll wrap things up.
Amazing poem, and I hope to see more from you!
5/2/2007 c1 1Zigeunerin
I felt like the beginning and the end weren't compatible. You didn't start to make it rhyme until the middle. And the "'Cause in the end" seemed pointless. Why not say "because"? It wouldn't upset the rhythm or anything. But anyways, that's all the dry/boring/technical stuff. The actual message was lovely; the fact that you used really short sentences worked well. Nice.
1ZigeunerinI felt like the beginning and the end weren't compatible. You didn't start to make it rhyme until the middle. And the "'Cause in the end" seemed pointless. Why not say "because"? It wouldn't upset the rhythm or anything. But anyways, that's all the dry/boring/technical stuff. The actual message was lovely; the fact that you used really short sentences worked well. Nice.