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for Assaulted

6/18/2007 c1 21as beauty dies

You know, I was so utterly stunned by your style-and diction-presented in this piece that nothing really hit until later, and then that started hurting.

I love that. I love it that you are so transfixed by a piece o writing that you neglect to take into account the themes presented-it's what good writing should be, I think.

I love this-and, coincidentally, YOU for writing this-and I am so, so very jealous of you now.

Love it to the nth degree-it is so fucking brilliant.

- Noelle
6/17/2007 c1 10channel-violet
I loved this story.

You are as breath-taking in story writing as well as your poetry. It was beautiful and creepy because as much as I understand how much "Pup" loves her it seemed quasi-non severe stalker like. But then I would act that way if I ever found the love of my life and I can see why she needs her. Because the girl needs Pup even if it is a secret.
6/9/2007 c1 39Countess Chocula
Wow. I don't even know what to say. When I saw the part in your profile about having created a fiction account, I'm not sure what I expected your prose to sound like. But I love it.

The style it's in...I could definately tell that it was your work, even if your name wasn't attatched to it. If I hadn't known this was you, I'd have thought somebody had plagiarized. There's a great poetic feel in this, but at the same time, it's not completely the same as your poetry. Which is good, becuase otherwise it would probably just feel like a poem without the line breaks.

I love how the story starts off talking about one moment in time, then goes on to explain the relationship, and ends up going back to where it began. I can't wait for more of your writing.
5/7/2007 c1 Lead Girl
This story made me smile. Maybe that just shows my odd side. But it really did. Because I didn't this story as one about a bad relationship. On the contrary, I think this shows a close relationship. Something deeper than what is considered "normal."

"Pup"...my favorite part. I grinned. Not only because of what it meant in the story, but because I know of other reasons why you put that in there.

I just really like this. I've read many one shots and most of them have sucked because no one seems to know how to end it on a note that makes the reader happy (or the subject and writing style was just awful), but I didn't feel that way with this. I was happy with where it left. It leave you wondering a little, but at the same time, you know that it's all going to be alright because the two of them will be together.

It just made me happy to read.

"Is when I see you smiling at me – that secret smile you save just for me – as I’m being taken away in handcuffs (assault is such a strong word). You wink and mouth, 'I’ll come get you'. And I know you will."

5/4/2007 c1 8Hyacinthe Wing
o! So cute! And so pretty-pretty creepy! I really like this, the imagery is very vivid! I especially like the part where you mention the bubbles stuck to the "trailer-trash girl". Because it's true! You totally get bubbles on you when you climb out of the bawth. No matter how hard you try~! I like that, those little pieces of fragile imperfections, those tiny messy details that make a story tastier and more real.

Beautiful short story~! Keep writing up a storm~!

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