for Nothing6/9/2007 c1 
39Countess Chocula
Ouch. The end...that's rough. That's powerful. That's better than half the shit on the bookstore shelves now. Hell, more than half. Way more than half.
I always find stories like this, that end with the realization on the part of the reader that the character that you have connected with, whether in chapters or paragraphs, is completely fooling themselves, to be especially powerful and sad.
I'm amazed at how we can not even know the main character's name, yet I find myself connecting with her, wishing I could talk to her.
Seriously. I'm amazed you're not published.
39Countess ChoculaOuch. The end...that's rough. That's powerful. That's better than half the shit on the bookstore shelves now. Hell, more than half. Way more than half.
I always find stories like this, that end with the realization on the part of the reader that the character that you have connected with, whether in chapters or paragraphs, is completely fooling themselves, to be especially powerful and sad.
I'm amazed at how we can not even know the main character's name, yet I find myself connecting with her, wishing I could talk to her.
Seriously. I'm amazed you're not published.
5/9/2007 c1 N. White
Powerful. I really like your writing style, and (though I know this is fairly silly) your lack of grammatical error. You really get the emotion across, without making it seem over-the-top and improbable.
Powerful. I really like your writing style, and (though I know this is fairly silly) your lack of grammatical error. You really get the emotion across, without making it seem over-the-top and improbable.
5/7/2007 c1 Lead Girl
You give the characters a very real feel. Maybe that's why I enjoy your stories so much. It's as if I'm actually watching all this happen. I can feel what the narrator is feeling. I like that. I don't like wondering or being disconnected from a story.
And like your poems, you always have great imagery. That also is a big plus for me when I read.
I felt the love in this story. Some could argue that it isn't love, but I see it. No fairytale romance crap though. You're too good for that. You write the love that grabs hold and won't let go. Even when it feels like it's slowly killing you. The obsessive love.
The great love.
"You conquered me that night, you truly did...You were a woman of few words, but I learned to read you." I like that. Reminds me of us.
But I think my favorite two lines in the whole story are "I knew that you loved surprises. But I guess you forgot that I hated them."
Man...that's great stuff.
In all honesty...I think you're a better writer than poet. And we both know how great of a poet I think you are.
You give the characters a very real feel. Maybe that's why I enjoy your stories so much. It's as if I'm actually watching all this happen. I can feel what the narrator is feeling. I like that. I don't like wondering or being disconnected from a story.
And like your poems, you always have great imagery. That also is a big plus for me when I read.
I felt the love in this story. Some could argue that it isn't love, but I see it. No fairytale romance crap though. You're too good for that. You write the love that grabs hold and won't let go. Even when it feels like it's slowly killing you. The obsessive love.
The great love.
"You conquered me that night, you truly did...You were a woman of few words, but I learned to read you." I like that. Reminds me of us.
But I think my favorite two lines in the whole story are "I knew that you loved surprises. But I guess you forgot that I hated them."
Man...that's great stuff.
In all honesty...I think you're a better writer than poet. And we both know how great of a poet I think you are.