for Amazing Change8/12/2008 c1 
11the ignorance of it all
Looking at it strictly as a piece of writing, I think it would have a larger impact on the reader to put in the bit about your mother at the beginning.
It's the main aspect of the story, the reason for the change, but it's sort of lost in the piece being at the end. Sometimes it's good to leave the 'why' til the end, making the reader feel the need to keep reading, but the content is captivating from the beginning, so I personally don't feel that you need to hold off on it.
If you were to put it at the beginning, the reader would still want to keep reading, being interested on what effect this behaviour has on the main character.
Though I'm sure you had your reasons for having it the way you did. In which case, I'm terribly sorry for rambling so much on one subject that you've most likely already considered. =)
Looking at it as a story, this is absolutely amazing.
I'm not a person who very cries easily, but this had me on the verge of tears.
It's so personal, so beautiful, so raw. You're an amazing writer. =)
11the ignorance of it allLooking at it strictly as a piece of writing, I think it would have a larger impact on the reader to put in the bit about your mother at the beginning.
It's the main aspect of the story, the reason for the change, but it's sort of lost in the piece being at the end. Sometimes it's good to leave the 'why' til the end, making the reader feel the need to keep reading, but the content is captivating from the beginning, so I personally don't feel that you need to hold off on it.
If you were to put it at the beginning, the reader would still want to keep reading, being interested on what effect this behaviour has on the main character.
Though I'm sure you had your reasons for having it the way you did. In which case, I'm terribly sorry for rambling so much on one subject that you've most likely already considered. =)
Looking at it as a story, this is absolutely amazing.
I'm not a person who very cries easily, but this had me on the verge of tears.
It's so personal, so beautiful, so raw. You're an amazing writer. =)
2/26/2008 c1 15miscellanea
I really liked it when you said
"I'm not concave."
That made me laugh.
I also liked what you said about live/survive.
15miscellaneaI really liked it when you said
"I'm not concave."
That made me laugh.
I also liked what you said about live/survive.
9/7/2007 c1 CandleQueen
Ramenluver: *is breathless* Okay, that's it, dammit. You're going on my favorite authors list. Just because of your beautiful personality. There it is. I said it. This story/poem thing...made me cry. Not just one or two tears, but a frickin' tidal wave. Let's just say it really spoke to me. Sorry for being so laconic. I'm just kinda choked up right now.
*hugs*
-Ramen
Ramenluver: *is breathless* Okay, that's it, dammit. You're going on my favorite authors list. Just because of your beautiful personality. There it is. I said it. This story/poem thing...made me cry. Not just one or two tears, but a frickin' tidal wave. Let's just say it really spoke to me. Sorry for being so laconic. I'm just kinda choked up right now.
*hugs*
-Ramen
7/23/2007 c1 108Qzie
I'm really starting to like your writing. Actually, scratch the "starting to". You made a lot of great points in this, and I can't help but think that this whole thing was just SCREAMING "CARPE DIEM!" ...diam? I forget how to spell it. And you're right, that which doesn't kill us makes us stronger. It helps us learn how to be a better person, or it makes us wiser, or braver. Great essay. :) -Qzie
108QzieI'm really starting to like your writing. Actually, scratch the "starting to". You made a lot of great points in this, and I can't help but think that this whole thing was just SCREAMING "CARPE DIEM!" ...diam? I forget how to spell it. And you're right, that which doesn't kill us makes us stronger. It helps us learn how to be a better person, or it makes us wiser, or braver. Great essay. :) -Qzie
7/8/2007 c1 7Seize the Day
Wow. This is really profound. Even though I hate to hear someone has been through any kind of suffering, it does seem as though you have become a better person in spite of it. And that is what I like to hear.
7Seize the DayWow. This is really profound. Even though I hate to hear someone has been through any kind of suffering, it does seem as though you have become a better person in spite of it. And that is what I like to hear.
7/7/2007 c1 25IdeasInTheAir
I think this is one of the best pieces on here. I love it so much, I read every single word. I didn't skip one. The only other story I've done that to, is Fine Line, but this went right into my heart, soul, mind, whatever you like. It reminded me of myself, even though I was never really that quiet. Shy, in public, but I've changed like you. It was fabulous, this, and it reached the deepness, and went deeper the my own diary entries. It was beautiful, and touching, and self-explainitory, and I salute you forever and ever for posting this. I would never have had the guts to post something like that. I write fantasy to escape my life when it needs escaping from, as all lives do, and to post that would be too personal for me. But it's going to help a lot of people who read this, and it's going to make them realize everything that you've mentioned, even if it was about you. Everyone can make connections to this, everyone, and I will never forget what you've said.
~Danielle=)
25IdeasInTheAirI think this is one of the best pieces on here. I love it so much, I read every single word. I didn't skip one. The only other story I've done that to, is Fine Line, but this went right into my heart, soul, mind, whatever you like. It reminded me of myself, even though I was never really that quiet. Shy, in public, but I've changed like you. It was fabulous, this, and it reached the deepness, and went deeper the my own diary entries. It was beautiful, and touching, and self-explainitory, and I salute you forever and ever for posting this. I would never have had the guts to post something like that. I write fantasy to escape my life when it needs escaping from, as all lives do, and to post that would be too personal for me. But it's going to help a lot of people who read this, and it's going to make them realize everything that you've mentioned, even if it was about you. Everyone can make connections to this, everyone, and I will never forget what you've said.
~Danielle=)
6/12/2007 c1 Rande
I honestly cried reading this. Its so inspirational, I'm bookmarking it...and I never bookmark anything. Really, thank you for writing this.
I honestly cried reading this. Its so inspirational, I'm bookmarking it...and I never bookmark anything. Really, thank you for writing this.
5/19/2007 c1 3TwinRavens
A wonderful kind of honesty, more people should be reading this. I am glad you found the will the change. And as a random note, i find comment about changing eyes interesting, would you care to elaborate or is that too personal?
3TwinRavensA wonderful kind of honesty, more people should be reading this. I am glad you found the will the change. And as a random note, i find comment about changing eyes interesting, would you care to elaborate or is that too personal?
5/14/2007 c1 37Leyman
It appears as if people are changing more, and more everday into the kind person they are going to become. Your choice in your change however it what I find inspiring from this essay.
37LeymanIt appears as if people are changing more, and more everday into the kind person they are going to become. Your choice in your change however it what I find inspiring from this essay.
5/13/2007 c1 3Skriker
Gaia, that's wonderful. It's so true, as well, and I'm so glad you could put it into words like that(I've never been able to). You obviously put a lot of emotion into this, and it feels so real. Do you mind if I send this around a bit, as long as I give you credit and all that? I think a lot of people could do well from something like this. ^_^
3SkrikerGaia, that's wonderful. It's so true, as well, and I'm so glad you could put it into words like that(I've never been able to). You obviously put a lot of emotion into this, and it feels so real. Do you mind if I send this around a bit, as long as I give you credit and all that? I think a lot of people could do well from something like this. ^_^