5/15/2007 c1 16Vost Thenen
Let me say first: I like this, it's very minimalistic in a great way for the sort of thing going on in the piece, the overlying metaphor is good and enhanced by the dialogue. Overall good, the only sticking point I had was this:
"Couldn't get the formatting quite right...etc."
If it's not too pretentious of me (and lemme know if it is) but I want to share something one of my english teachers told me and that was, whenever you introduce a piece to anyone who's going to read it, present it like it's the best damn thing you've ever written. You took a risk with the formatting, and it worked, let your work speak for itself, you have some good talent here.
Let me say first: I like this, it's very minimalistic in a great way for the sort of thing going on in the piece, the overlying metaphor is good and enhanced by the dialogue. Overall good, the only sticking point I had was this:
"Couldn't get the formatting quite right...etc."
If it's not too pretentious of me (and lemme know if it is) but I want to share something one of my english teachers told me and that was, whenever you introduce a piece to anyone who's going to read it, present it like it's the best damn thing you've ever written. You took a risk with the formatting, and it worked, let your work speak for itself, you have some good talent here.