for I'll Be Right Here Waiting6/13/2007 c1 
10DarkBlysse
Oh, I love how you've personified Time by making it a proper noun! But if you intend to keep it as such, then you should try to capitalize everytime you use 'It' to stand for the personified 'Time.'
"And, I'll stand, without falling even once"-You don't need the comma after 'and.'
"The Sun will Rise, and the Sun will Set"-Okay, I understand capitalizing 'Sun' but why 'Rise' and 'Set'?
"Knowing that, 'someday'"-I love how you put 'someday' in quotes, and that you repeated this part.
"I might never be, Good enough..."-Why is 'Good' capitalized?
"...cease, Until the very end"-Ditto for 'Until'.
Aww. The ending made the entire poem so much better-and sadder. The rest of the poem was okay, but that last line made it great!
10DarkBlysseOh, I love how you've personified Time by making it a proper noun! But if you intend to keep it as such, then you should try to capitalize everytime you use 'It' to stand for the personified 'Time.'
"And, I'll stand, without falling even once"-You don't need the comma after 'and.'
"The Sun will Rise, and the Sun will Set"-Okay, I understand capitalizing 'Sun' but why 'Rise' and 'Set'?
"Knowing that, 'someday'"-I love how you put 'someday' in quotes, and that you repeated this part.
"I might never be, Good enough..."-Why is 'Good' capitalized?
"...cease, Until the very end"-Ditto for 'Until'.
Aww. The ending made the entire poem so much better-and sadder. The rest of the poem was okay, but that last line made it great!
5/22/2007 c1 lymli
to be honest, I like your poem a lot, it's sad, therefore, I like... I can relate those feelings, they are very deep.
to be honest, I like your poem a lot, it's sad, therefore, I like... I can relate those feelings, they are very deep.
5/22/2007 c1 1k+Faithless Juliet
I loved the beginning detail about giving away time. Very powerful, I enjoyed it. Keep up the good work.
Much love,
Juliet.
1k+Faithless JulietI loved the beginning detail about giving away time. Very powerful, I enjoyed it. Keep up the good work.
Much love,
Juliet.