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for Ouranos and Ge

6/7/2007 c1 hey maria
I thought this poem was virtually flawless. The description was lovely, I was able to picture everything in my head. And the very idea of love between a personified earth and the sky, well, I love it, and you wrote it very well.

There was one thing that I thought should be tweaked a little. The word 'black' is used several times in the first verse, and it sounds redundant. If it was meant to show a theme of darkness, to contrast the colorfulness (is that a word?) of the earth, then that's fine, but maybe you could use a few synonyms of 'black' instead?

But other than that, I really liked this poem. Keep writing.
6/3/2007 c1 85Embellished Heart
WOW. Thats all I know what to say that was amazing! Beautiful. Going on my favorite stories list!

~Dana
6/3/2007 c1 306Ashelin
"Of ice-tailed comets, their depths reflecting liquid starlight"

That was my favorite part. Especially "liquid starlight". What amazing images you have created. Truly wonderful. Great job, keep it up.

Ashelin

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