for Rise Again4/11/2012 c1 
13Zane Donovan
Just wanted to say I loved this poem! :). especially the line "Phoenix, when your time draws nigh, In flames your born and in fire youll die". I did a poem on the phoenix as well you should check it out. i hope it will provide as much inspiration as yours did.
13Zane DonovanJust wanted to say I loved this poem! :). especially the line "Phoenix, when your time draws nigh, In flames your born and in fire youll die". I did a poem on the phoenix as well you should check it out. i hope it will provide as much inspiration as yours did.
4/12/2010 c1 Equilibrium
Interesting. I love how the repetition emphasizes the cycle of life, death, and rebirth. The rhyming couplets give your poem a sense of completion and harmony that is perfectly fitting for the subject matter.
Great job. Hope to read more from you soon.
^_^
Interesting. I love how the repetition emphasizes the cycle of life, death, and rebirth. The rhyming couplets give your poem a sense of completion and harmony that is perfectly fitting for the subject matter.
Great job. Hope to read more from you soon.
^_^
3/22/2008 c1 612simpleplan13
Review Game!
-Flow
...The flow was good. The line breaks are very well placed.
-Technical Aspects
...I couldn't figure out why you capitalized Resplendent because that just didn't make sense. Also the second line should have a period after it. Also from A sign of rebirth to forever will last is a runon sentence. Also the last four lines I might get rid of an and and make it into two sentences.
-Descriptions/images
...well it's kinda hard to describe a phoenix in different ways, but you did a pretty good job with the baby's breath line and dew from the grass. Those were both really great
-Word choice
...plumage resplendent was really great and the rest of them were pretty ordinary, but not in a bad way
-Enjoyment
...I liked it a lot. It was about the same thing, but not too repetitive and the descriptions kept my attention.
-Poetic Devices
...the rhyming pattern was all over the place in the beginning. It was A-A-A-B-C-C-B-B. I might work on that maybe make the third line rhyme with again... that should fix it. Also the told part did seem a bit forced to begin with.
-Subject
...The subject matter is a bit overused and because of that some of it was a bit cliched, but as I said you had some really great descriptions and that made it different and well done.
612simpleplan13Review Game!
-Flow
...The flow was good. The line breaks are very well placed.
-Technical Aspects
...I couldn't figure out why you capitalized Resplendent because that just didn't make sense. Also the second line should have a period after it. Also from A sign of rebirth to forever will last is a runon sentence. Also the last four lines I might get rid of an and and make it into two sentences.
-Descriptions/images
...well it's kinda hard to describe a phoenix in different ways, but you did a pretty good job with the baby's breath line and dew from the grass. Those were both really great
-Word choice
...plumage resplendent was really great and the rest of them were pretty ordinary, but not in a bad way
-Enjoyment
...I liked it a lot. It was about the same thing, but not too repetitive and the descriptions kept my attention.
-Poetic Devices
...the rhyming pattern was all over the place in the beginning. It was A-A-A-B-C-C-B-B. I might work on that maybe make the third line rhyme with again... that should fix it. Also the told part did seem a bit forced to begin with.
-Subject
...The subject matter is a bit overused and because of that some of it was a bit cliched, but as I said you had some really great descriptions and that made it different and well done.
7/2/2007 c1 7wild dreams16
damn u sure know how to write a good poem. this wasn;t good. it was freakin great. wow. i think i just found my favorite author. i wouldn't be surprise if u won a price for this. lol. anywayz i love the poeam and good jub. i will be readin more of you storys n poem.
7wild dreams16damn u sure know how to write a good poem. this wasn;t good. it was freakin great. wow. i think i just found my favorite author. i wouldn't be surprise if u won a price for this. lol. anywayz i love the poeam and good jub. i will be readin more of you storys n poem.
6/7/2007 c1 28Erisah Mae
This is a beautiful poem- I love the imagery... you have such a fabulous style!
Nice work.
Erisah
28Erisah MaeThis is a beautiful poem- I love the imagery... you have such a fabulous style!
Nice work.
Erisah