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6/21/2007 c1 63lackluster
the second stanza, compared to the first and third is super super sweet and just lovely. but i like how the tone switches in the end. kind of bitter but still lovely. great great work.
6/19/2007 c1 18alastingimpression
I'm blown away. The imagery you've displayed here shows your immense talent. It's short, sweet, and to the point. You don't walk around the meaning. You get right to it. And you write it beautifully. Good job.
6/14/2007 c1 87Kissing Concrete
the first two stanzas were so romantic and sweet, but the tone really shifted in the last stanza, leaving me thinking there was something more. good job.
6/12/2007 c1 3Jaye-Elle
I like the first and third stanza. Good word use and syntax, especially in the first one ("...of a / day I once knew"). I think that the rhyming in the last two lines of the second stanza are out of place. They throw off the overall enjoyability of the poem for me.

Nonetheless, good job, nice title.

- Kat

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