
7/20/2008 c1
7Samantha Marie Haven
Normally i would give some advice, but this was so faced-paced with all the diologue that i was just soaking up everything and loving it.
this first chapter lacks description, but i don't find that a concern, because, you see, it's pretty perfect that way. From the little bits of descpription you used, i gathered all i needed, and it was obvious at once where he was, so there's no problem with not a lot of detail. detail and description is neccessary for some stories, wonderufl in others, and in stories like this, just simply not needed. at least, not yet.
i love your Aiden character already. alright, i have to admit that Aiden is my favorite name in the world, and i have a character in one of my stories named Aiden too.
Anyway, your Aiden's situation is so engaging i'm putting this on my alert. i hope you update it. i care about him already! (maybe i'm just bias toward his awesome name, not sure)

Normally i would give some advice, but this was so faced-paced with all the diologue that i was just soaking up everything and loving it.
this first chapter lacks description, but i don't find that a concern, because, you see, it's pretty perfect that way. From the little bits of descpription you used, i gathered all i needed, and it was obvious at once where he was, so there's no problem with not a lot of detail. detail and description is neccessary for some stories, wonderufl in others, and in stories like this, just simply not needed. at least, not yet.
i love your Aiden character already. alright, i have to admit that Aiden is my favorite name in the world, and i have a character in one of my stories named Aiden too.
Anyway, your Aiden's situation is so engaging i'm putting this on my alert. i hope you update it. i care about him already! (maybe i'm just bias toward his awesome name, not sure)
6/15/2007 c1
3Seshtah
0.o woa *reads the end again* that was creepy. This can't be all a coincidence, is he doing all this stuff with that leather band around his wrist or is it that mysterious guy in the picture? Gah, this is going to drive me nuts because dammit, you're good at this! Update soon!
-Seshtah

0.o woa *reads the end again* that was creepy. This can't be all a coincidence, is he doing all this stuff with that leather band around his wrist or is it that mysterious guy in the picture? Gah, this is going to drive me nuts because dammit, you're good at this! Update soon!
-Seshtah