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for I'd Rather You Didn't

7/12/2008 c2 67Shadowe Goddess
more pwease?
12/21/2007 c1 2Jessica Renee
First off, I clicked on this story because it looked interesting and I saw the Brand New lyrics. I love Brand New and I just knew I had to read on. I really like this so far. And I love the name Marcus - a plus there. I found one error, a typo:

“I…” he started slowly, looking up at me slowly with his hazel eyes. “I need you help,” he mumbled, defeated. “And I need it bad.”

It should be "I need YOUR help."

Other than that, I saw a few grammar errors, but nothing really huge. I really am interested to see where you go with this. Cliché or not, it IS interesting. And honestly, there are hardly any stories that are profound and groundbreaking these days because so many plots have been done. I wouldn't say that it's not new because everyone puts a spin on an idea differently.
11/25/2007 c7 18pinkfluffyoranges
Man if I don't find out whats up soon, I'm gonna go insane. I love this story, and tottaly understand the sporadic updates. I just want some answers...Ande some more marcus. So totataly confused
10/12/2007 c1 DreamlessInfinity
This seems like a good start… you have a unique writing style and beautiful imagery, as well as insight as to what your character feels. Not many authors can do that.

Her interaction with Marcus seemed to happen quite early. I understand that this can only help to move the plot forward and add more conflict in the earlier chapters, but it seems quite sudden.

My other comment involves the swearing at the end. Putting it in dialogue is only natural, people tend to swear whenever they’re angry or just in general. Having it describe an emotion is different.

~Dreamless~
10/7/2007 c6 12FrenzyFan78
Oh, I like how the tension is slowly building up. Nice work. And Marcus is back in the story - you're doing a wonderful job at creating curiosity about him.

The one thing I would suggest is to maybe add in some more description of setting - I had a hard time imagining where Melaney is.

Anyway, that's all.

-FrenzyFan78
10/7/2007 c6 38Perfect Bliss
OH I liked this chapter although Aunt Shelly sounds like a real bitch. I can't wait to meet her muahaha sounds like fun! yay! great great! please keep this going.
9/29/2007 c5 Perfect Bliss
Hey there. Sorry for not reviewing earlier, but I'm finally here! haha. Nice chapters, I can see how the story is starting to evolve. I'm really intrigued about what's going to happen next.

Oh Marcus Flutie! I'm so in love with that character and I really love the name haha. well... I dunno... every complex character reminds me a bit of Marcus Flutie so it comes as no surprise that Marcus Foster reminds me a bit of him. haha.

Lovely chapters.
8/20/2007 c4 12FrenzyFan78
I think you did a wonderful job with this chapter. I think the new scene with Tommy really adds to it - it brings him back and gives him a new purpose in the story, as well as sparks some more interest in what's going on.

Anyway... just dropping in to let you know that I read this chapter again. =] As always, drop me an email whenever you write the next one!

-FrenzyFan78
8/19/2007 c4 Lena Niccolas
it's really good. update again soon!
8/18/2007 c4 14Charlotte Havok
the first three

paragraphs

were like somthing i wrote on my diary

i adore this story

it's like me feelings on words

n_n
8/18/2007 c1 Charlotte Havok
i feel so identified with her, when her father is practically screaming at her why can't you be normal?, i really like your story, i don't think your character is cliche at all
7/31/2007 c3 Faking Cinderella
I really love your story. I hope the next one comes out faster, and I cant wait! Keep up the great work! :D
7/29/2007 c3 38Perfect Bliss
Hey thanks a lot for the note! and sorry for taking so long in reviewing. ive been kind of busy these past days. Well great chapter. Marcus Foster sounds like Marcus Flutie haha and God knows how much I love that character. I love how you describe everything as for the plot, I'm getting more intrigued and eager for an update. Great work as always.
7/22/2007 c3 puddleofhappy
Wow sorry I took so long to review...was distracted by books! But... oh lord, I can't actually believe that! I can't believe he just came out with that. I don't even know what to say now, but this was a good chapter, and oh yes...I must express my utter dislike for Melaney's dad because he is one major asshole, and I think he deserves a slap straight across his face for being such a crappy Dad. Poor Melaney, I wonder what's going to happen next, I hope you'll update soon x
7/17/2007 c3 12FrenzyFan78
Haha, excellent. I suddenly remembered about the chapter after doing pretty much nothing all day, and I thought to myself: I am a sucky beta. Ahh well, so goes life. Email me the next chappie whenever you write it, and hopefully I won't forget about it. =D

-FrenzyFan78
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