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6/26/2007 c2 15DaGitt
good so far, kind of clicked off between them SUPER fast, i usually prefer some time, but that's alright. i guess sometimes that's possible when the two people have incredible chemistry, and besides, you're doing a terrific job w/ dialogue so i shouldn't be talking.

keep up the good work
6/26/2007 c1 DaGitt
wow, really good so far :)

i'll read the following chapters when i can

but meanwhile, keep up the great work :)
6/26/2007 c6 3Daydream Nation
DEF LEPPARD? *squeals* That lucky bitch. xDD

Anyways. I really really love the story. Especially the plot..but I think the story's moving a bit too quickly. I mean, he doesn't even know her that well, and he already starts acting so familiar with her and being there for her and all that. I think it would be a bit better if you take more time to develop the characters and their environments, while moving at a slower pace.

Your grammar and language are pretty good though. The story flows very smoothly, and the characters seem very real.

The main character also comes off as witty, sarcastic, cute, and loveable. I love her character. xDD.
6/26/2007 c6 4I'mAFairyPrincessLookAtMeDance
Uh oh, can anyone say 'love in the air'?
6/26/2007 c6 3Lady Wrye
It's your birthday? Well if it is, happy birthday!

Lovely chapter here, I loved their time together :)

Hopefully next one will be even better...except, ah, drama!
6/26/2007 c6 7BookWorm22202
Aw...he keeps kissing her. How sweet. You have to update as soon as you get back! I can't wait to read about the party! Hope you had fun in Chicago, seeing as you probably won't get this until after you get back.

~BW2~
6/26/2007 c6 1Unique Child
Aw. He so has feelings for her..! Happy birthday hun!
6/26/2007 c6 DinaY
HEy HAPPY BIRTHDAY!

its my mommys birthday too today:)

hope that all ur dreams come true and that u had a great day...

btw im addicted to ur story:D
6/26/2007 c6 RubMyTummy
Okay, first of all, I don't usually write reviews for stories. I'm way too lazy. XP But your story is really, really good. When I finished reading chapter 5 yesterday I started reading Rookie, Rookie 2, and Rookie3. I loved them all. And I was dying for you to update this story, and you did! Yay! NOW UPDATE SOON! I want to see what happens at the dance! Now I'm off to read your other two stories which I'm sure are as amazing as the ones I already read.

As I said before, update soon! I love your stories and I'll try to stop being lazy and review more, since your stories deserve it! :D
6/25/2007 c5 ealuv79
WOW! I just finished reading your story up until this point and I have to say that I really, really, REALLY like it. Your writing is very good and I love the premise of this story. The idea behind this story is also very innovative. As a last note, I LOVE JAKE! I like him much better than Lance! GO JAKE! He's so sweet. Please update soon!
6/25/2007 c5 citygrl
o i really like this story. a lot. and what i love most about all your stories is that yoiu always post in the middle of the day so when i look for a small distraction from work you provide it!

but i do love this story and i want bella [a name that i love] to be with jake. i'm not 100% positive you want that with that whole lance business but i am hoping that was just to push jake into realizing that he liked bella. and i think it worked. i can't wait for more! excellent!
6/25/2007 c5 1Alice Hartwell
Dang that Lance and his ability to play with young girls' hearts! Dang it, I say.

At least Jake was there to save the day...

Any dramatic changes better have happy outcomes. *shakes finger* Wouldn't want to see poor Bella heartbroken anymore. :(

Great chapter, though, for sure. Your writing style is refreshingly unique while still being real down at its core. It's so hard to find a balance between excessive wordiness and simple voice in works these days. BUT! You manage to come off sounding educated -and- human. It's lovely. Can't wait to see more.

-ABH
6/25/2007 c5 4I'mAFairyPrincessLookAtMeDance
Hehehe, I wanna see what happen next! What Lance's face is like and if Jake gest mobbed by fan girls!
6/25/2007 c5 7BookWorm22202
Oh my gosh! Darn you and your bad timing! Update soon, please! Have fun in Chicago!

~BW2~
6/25/2007 c5 3Lady Wrye
Bwhaha, I knew Lance was a jerk. I don't want anymore drama though! No. :(
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