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for Commencement

7/10/2009 c1 Star Whistler
Ew. I hate Wendy; I'm so glad he's got Heidi now. I can't believe she actually blamed her mistake on him - because it makes so much sense that his not going to college would (obviously) lead to her making out with his friend.

It's interesting to see what Drystan was like before he met Heidi, before he even moved out of his house. And it's also an inside look into his family life...because in SoF, we only ever get to know what he tells Heidi (and what she hears from her friends).

So, yeah, good job.
5/2/2009 c1 1Casfar
Wow, this gives great insight to Drystan's point of view. I'm glad he finally learns to break away from that sort of lifestyle, but it also sucks that his dad isn't supportive of him at all; I know how that is. People act in certain ways that they either think are encouraging but are really just hurtful; or they really are just that mean. Anyway, I see that this is halfway done, so even if it takes years, haha, I'll be waiting. (That actually sounds creepy)
12/16/2007 c1 2Mojojuju
I read your other story, "Shades of Fire", and then I saw this story, the prequel to it. I like it. I like that this story allows us to understand Drystan a bit more.

After I read about the short explanation of the title to your story, I thought about it and I believe that the word may come from French.

Commencement. There is a French word (verb) "commencer" which means "to begin" - beginning. So in some ways, it does make sense that "commencement" means the same as graduation, because it's "the beginning of a new life"? Anyway, I just thought the word interesting. :)

Update the second chapter as soon as you can! :) I like your style of writing. And your ideas. :)


- J.
8/17/2007 c1 2Angela Loves
I like the fact that you made sort of like a prequel to your story, "Shades of Fire". Update soon!
7/16/2007 c1 humangus
Well, here I am again. I think this is a good start to the background of your other story. It felt short to me, even though I can see that it isn't. But yes, it is written in a way that I feel it's really a guy, but then again, I'm also a girl, so maybe I'm not the MOST reliable source.

But anyway, I like the beginning of this story so far. Update soon, because I'd like to see more of Drystan and his past. I have a hunch that there's way more to him than meets the eye. Update soon!

7/15/2007 c1 3florissant

in the middle of the story, i really did start forgetting it was you. i mean, readers do believe anything you tell them anyways, so you don't have to worry too much about the girl from a guy perspective thing. the chapter is wonderful.
7/3/2007 c1 3Daydream Nation
It's pretty believable that this story is told through the eyes of a boy. I mean, it's not like a story told from a male's POV would have be filled with angry thoughts and a lot of cusses or anything. xDD.


I love this story. It portrays the difficulty the protagonist is going though really well, and it captures the troubles of a person struggling to figure out what they want to do with their life with other factors in their lives that affect them on their decisions.


Good Job. ;P
7/3/2007 c1 19ihrtbks
I like this. I think this is pretty believable for a guy. I know how hard it is to be a girl writing from a guy's POV. When I tried, he sounded completely like a girl, but Drystan sounds like one of those 'rugged', 'weathered' characters, not a wimp or effeminate or anything. That was just plain mean of Wendy, telling him I wanna wait til marriage and going and almost doing it with his friend.


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