7/7/2007 c1 37TaltushMeiMei
The beginning of this poem was intriguing with the whole "rock bottom" concept feeling slightly fresh and clear, but then when you got somewhere around the middle the poem seemed to bog down. Then the ending was just anti-climatic and surprisingly annoying. While I may be saying this because of personal belief (I really don't like to support suicidal behavior or anything of the kind), I think that lost much of its charm and quality once you hit the "no one cares" theme. The last three lines just felt bland and empty compared to the power of the first few ("Telling myself there is nothing left to hang onto", "On the edge, staring down at rock bottom"). Overall, there was an interesting aspect to this poem, but I think that the ending may need some editing and work. I'd be curious to see what other poems (non-death themed poems) would be like, if you have any recommendations or personal favorites. It's certainly not a bad piece of writing, but I think that the ending could use some more power and a more solid emotion. Overall, though, good.