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7/22/2009 c1 12memory-flower
I see what you mean about making it personal. Very good way of describing that.
10/26/2008 c1 53Katie Nicole
I like this!

But for some reason, I like the descriptions of the high itself more than the reasoning behind it. I'm sure the explanation for why you're getting stoned is necessary to the poem, but the parts that stood out to be were definitely the descriptions of the euphoria - I love them!

"Drugs once feared I now desire

Pains once passed, now get me higher"

and the last .. * counting * .. six lines are my favorite.

The only part that bugged me is the struggle to rhyme. I agree that the rhyme fits this poem quite well, but in certain places you had to mix around words to make it work, and it just sounded kind of confusing.

This for instance:

"Is it mine or yours, this pain I face

Because it’s only me it seems who pays"

It doesn't look or sound grammatically correct.

But that aside, this poem is pretty kickass.

Nice work!


P.S. - I think I reviewed something of yours already and didn't realize it til after I PM'd you XD
10/12/2008 c1 Brandon Smithers
Excellent. I picked this one at random from all of your works to be the first poem I will read. Needless to say, I havn't read something so sombre in years. I know your writing very well, having read most of it back in the day, and I think it translates very well, and very noticeably, into your poetry. It has a kind of, well, emotion to it that most of the poetry I usually hear doesn't have. Although the writing itself is wonderful, I think it stands out more because I believe you actually went through times like this. That makes it feel more real and 'ominous,' if thats the word I want. You have the 'right' to draft this kind of poem, rather than that rediculous EMO stuff from a bunch of people who have never tasted defeat, pain or sadness. Overall, very good, very eye opening.

7/7/2007 c1 the princess
aw :( but you didnt lie really doof it just took u a while aw i love you
7/7/2007 c1 4MeganEmme
*Thank god, it’s gone, the hate of life*

I'm sorry but God should be capatalized it bugs me when people don't capatalize his name. sorry don't mean to leave such a sort comment with little critalization but I am tired because I've stayed up past five am. overal its a great peom I can relate to all except this

* Forget me because I can’t stop getting high

Getting fucked up is what I need*

theres prabably more but I may get to that tomarrow I just had to read something so I could add you to my favs.

I'll be reading more soon...

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