for Nocte Yin: A Hero Wannabe?8/28/2007 c7 
4Undecided.And.Confused
Yeah, I saw it, thanks. I don't think Nocre should feel like she's abandoning her father! I thought their journey would be a bit longer, but I guess you have something else planned!
4Undecided.And.ConfusedYeah, I saw it, thanks. I don't think Nocre should feel like she's abandoning her father! I thought their journey would be a bit longer, but I guess you have something else planned!
8/27/2007 c7 4Mistress DragonFlame
This chapter was kinda... abrupt would best fit. One minute they're running away, the nest they're fighting, the next they're suddenly days traveled and been betrayed, then flashed into the main city where no one was waiting to anbush, or got carried along for the ride. Nocte suddenly is, apparently, a whole lot less adverse to killing (via her dragons), and then she's arrested lickatysplit.
Not much flesh and filler parts in this chapter, I have to say.
4Mistress DragonFlameThis chapter was kinda... abrupt would best fit. One minute they're running away, the nest they're fighting, the next they're suddenly days traveled and been betrayed, then flashed into the main city where no one was waiting to anbush, or got carried along for the ride. Nocte suddenly is, apparently, a whole lot less adverse to killing (via her dragons), and then she's arrested lickatysplit.
Not much flesh and filler parts in this chapter, I have to say.
8/26/2007 c7 WindWarrior
Wow! this chaper was soo cool! you can tell Nocte has mature a lot and it really seems as if she knows what she's doing most of the time. I applaud her.
loved it. :]
Wow! this chaper was soo cool! you can tell Nocte has mature a lot and it really seems as if she knows what she's doing most of the time. I applaud her.
loved it. :]
8/25/2007 c7 Arianna
Ah, I love this book. I can't check very often though, due to my wonderful AP Chemistry class. Why did I take that class? That and my after-school stuff. Darn my busy-ness.
Ah, I love this book. I can't check very often though, due to my wonderful AP Chemistry class. Why did I take that class? That and my after-school stuff. Darn my busy-ness.
8/25/2007 c7 vexi
Great chapter! Best thing to keep me going through a long long long sucky day at work! I loved Lord Bloodstone, awesome character.
Can't wait for the next chapter!
Great chapter! Best thing to keep me going through a long long long sucky day at work! I loved Lord Bloodstone, awesome character.
Can't wait for the next chapter!
8/24/2007 c7 abandonnnnned
Ah! That was so good, but over so soon! I wasn't particularly surprised by Kardama's betrayal because you really made him dodgy and slimey. I was very interested in Bloodstone, not to mention where the end of this chapter will lead! Loved it as per usual.
Ah! That was so good, but over so soon! I wasn't particularly surprised by Kardama's betrayal because you really made him dodgy and slimey. I was very interested in Bloodstone, not to mention where the end of this chapter will lead! Loved it as per usual.
8/24/2007 c7 Scribblesandink
Ok, so i've been a bad reader, and I apologize for not reviewing. But Noir? A werewolf? And wait, werewolves exist? I suppose I should be keeping an open mind, since if Death Glares and Hell Dragons exist then anything is really possible. Quite an interesting end to the chapter, from them fleeing one enemy and running right into the grasp of another (well, just Nocte's enemy, in this case.) I'd like to make one comment about the horseback riding, and this is only because I've been riding for quite some time. A horse cannot travel at a gallop for very long at all, even less if they go at the speed that racehorses are trained; it sounds like the horses were going at a high speed all night to get them away; either that or it was close to dawn when they got on the horses, which would make this part of the review completely pointless.
It's interesting how the princess is adjusting. She's become wary of each of her traveling companions in turn, and has a marvelous knack to survive, seeing as how she agreed with Nocte on passing the city and heading for the next one. Stupid Kardama, he had to go and mess it all up.
Ok, so i've been a bad reader, and I apologize for not reviewing. But Noir? A werewolf? And wait, werewolves exist? I suppose I should be keeping an open mind, since if Death Glares and Hell Dragons exist then anything is really possible. Quite an interesting end to the chapter, from them fleeing one enemy and running right into the grasp of another (well, just Nocte's enemy, in this case.) I'd like to make one comment about the horseback riding, and this is only because I've been riding for quite some time. A horse cannot travel at a gallop for very long at all, even less if they go at the speed that racehorses are trained; it sounds like the horses were going at a high speed all night to get them away; either that or it was close to dawn when they got on the horses, which would make this part of the review completely pointless.
It's interesting how the princess is adjusting. She's become wary of each of her traveling companions in turn, and has a marvelous knack to survive, seeing as how she agreed with Nocte on passing the city and heading for the next one. Stupid Kardama, he had to go and mess it all up.
8/24/2007 c7 Selena Lyle
wo! An update! awesome :] Wow I was really disliking that princes. even as she got nicer, I don't like how she's the typical damsel in distress. nocte's kick-ass :] lol, alrighties! I can't wait to have the plot unfold! and please, would you cameo Paine anytime soon? I miss him :[
wo! An update! awesome :] Wow I was really disliking that princes. even as she got nicer, I don't like how she's the typical damsel in distress. nocte's kick-ass :] lol, alrighties! I can't wait to have the plot unfold! and please, would you cameo Paine anytime soon? I miss him :[
8/22/2007 c6 2Phantos
Hm, where to start...
It was actually this story that caught my eye the other day (seemed less cliche than the other stuff in the fantasy section), but when I saw it was part of a series, I of course had to read the others first.
What a BRILLIANT concept! I don't think I've ever seen anyone attempt something like this before. A story about a villain who doesn't want to be a villain - unusual enough to look into publishing it, I think. (Though for what age group, I know not...)
Aside from the unusual idea, I think it's the slightly sarcastic tone that makes the story entertaining. Plus, it's always nice to see a heroine who isn't perfect-looking and always making the right decisions.
And there are Asian men... everywhere...(my imagination is having a field day). -drool-
Siyamak and Delano are definitely my favorite characters. Especially Siyamak - I don't know why - but I wanted to cry when we thought he was dead (way back in the second story).
Right now I want to know more about Delano, even if it is all a bit 'Romeo and Juliette'...
Of the other villains, I probably like Noir the best. He's downright creepy - and how the hell did he become a werewolf?
Compliments aside, I see some room for improvement. Definitely edit a bit more before you post. I see many places where you have 'too' instead of 'to' or 'loosing' instead of 'losing' (or, back in the first story, 'nauseas' instead of 'nauseated'). There are also places where the punctuation is incorrect, a word is missing, or one letter's been exchanged for another. All simple typos, all easy to fix.
If you simply can't see the mistakes (I make my roommate read over my papers, 'cause I have trouble seeing where I've screwed up) get someone else to edit for you. It'll make it easier on us poor readers.
One more thing: between the second and the third story, Nocte seemed to suddenly become more powerful. Or, at least, she didn't seem as powerful before, except on occasion. Or did I just miss something?
Looking forward to seeing where you go with all of this!
2PhantosHm, where to start...
It was actually this story that caught my eye the other day (seemed less cliche than the other stuff in the fantasy section), but when I saw it was part of a series, I of course had to read the others first.
What a BRILLIANT concept! I don't think I've ever seen anyone attempt something like this before. A story about a villain who doesn't want to be a villain - unusual enough to look into publishing it, I think. (Though for what age group, I know not...)
Aside from the unusual idea, I think it's the slightly sarcastic tone that makes the story entertaining. Plus, it's always nice to see a heroine who isn't perfect-looking and always making the right decisions.
And there are Asian men... everywhere...(my imagination is having a field day). -drool-
Siyamak and Delano are definitely my favorite characters. Especially Siyamak - I don't know why - but I wanted to cry when we thought he was dead (way back in the second story).
Right now I want to know more about Delano, even if it is all a bit 'Romeo and Juliette'...
Of the other villains, I probably like Noir the best. He's downright creepy - and how the hell did he become a werewolf?
Compliments aside, I see some room for improvement. Definitely edit a bit more before you post. I see many places where you have 'too' instead of 'to' or 'loosing' instead of 'losing' (or, back in the first story, 'nauseas' instead of 'nauseated'). There are also places where the punctuation is incorrect, a word is missing, or one letter's been exchanged for another. All simple typos, all easy to fix.
If you simply can't see the mistakes (I make my roommate read over my papers, 'cause I have trouble seeing where I've screwed up) get someone else to edit for you. It'll make it easier on us poor readers.
One more thing: between the second and the third story, Nocte seemed to suddenly become more powerful. Or, at least, she didn't seem as powerful before, except on occasion. Or did I just miss something?
Looking forward to seeing where you go with all of this!
8/19/2007 c6 Seraphic Deviltry
A werewolf? I applaud thee. This is really an awesome chapter.
... Noir is soo HOT (even if he is a horrible, cruel werewolf that wants to skin Nocte)
PS. You rock
-Seraphic Devilttry
A werewolf? I applaud thee. This is really an awesome chapter.
... Noir is soo HOT (even if he is a horrible, cruel werewolf that wants to skin Nocte)
PS. You rock
-Seraphic Devilttry
8/19/2007 c6 kivvy
what a good chapter! it was one heck of a change in tone. i was getting a bit tearful at the end. hehe. there are a few misspellings here and there. usually its just one word missing or a typo. otherwise, you did a great job! looking forward to your updates!
what a good chapter! it was one heck of a change in tone. i was getting a bit tearful at the end. hehe. there are a few misspellings here and there. usually its just one word missing or a typo. otherwise, you did a great job! looking forward to your updates!
8/18/2007 c6 I.F
Thank you for the update! That certainly clears things up, one of Nocte's father's friends is the Emperor and the reason why the Yin sided with the younger heir is because he either had inside information or the Emperor advised him too.
Thank you for the update! That certainly clears things up, one of Nocte's father's friends is the Emperor and the reason why the Yin sided with the younger heir is because he either had inside information or the Emperor advised him too.
8/17/2007 c6 Wolf-of-Five-Elements
Wow, you updated! Now, update again! It's a good chapter, I like it. =)
Wow, you updated! Now, update again! It's a good chapter, I like it. =)