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for sunny summer sprinkler days

1/17/2008 c1 102Midnight In Eden
In terms of your tenses, I'm thinking that this might work better:

the sunlight refrats off the water that’s soaking your skin

turning you into a thousand fragmented rainbows

that bend and break to make you beautiful

Otherwise the piece is almost too fast paced. Aside from that I really like this simplicity here. If you looked at doing something else like this though I'd try to vivid it up a bit more.

Midnight
8/23/2007 c1 lymli
aw, the imagery is really nice like a magic feeling.
7/11/2007 c1 88multiples of six
This is too short. It's like a teaser. I mean, that was probably the point.. to just kind of grab you and then stop. But I wish there was more! =)
7/11/2007 c1 13hicetnunc
this is really sweet :) but i do think that you might need some commas or something? to make it easier to follow. i know i had to read the first line a few times to get it.

or perhaps, that is a technique or you did this on purpose to make it look less complicated?

not sure, but good job! :)
7/9/2007 c1 65Aquafied
that is a beautiful image

it makes me want to believe that everyone is just a drop of water, a tear from the sky

remember when everyone used to review each others' work?

oh man, were those the days

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