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for The Highwaymen

1/4/2008 c3 Saki Hanajima
I really like this story. Your writing is very fluid and I think that this story does the poem justice. The night setting is very well done, with a sense of darkness and quiet. my one thing is, how did the highwayman learn her name? I might have missed it somewhere, tho- I was just surprised that he came looking for her all of a sudden. I didn't know her last name at all. But aside from that, it's wonderful!
12/13/2007 c3 20Tears of Deathwishxxx
Your writing style is very beautiful and I would love to see more. And thanks for the review for my poem. I have more if you wish to see.
10/11/2007 c3 17Yokotaashi
It seems as if these two have history other than their prior meeting. I doubt this is the case, but it does kind of throw me off that the thief apperently tried to find her. His methods, forewardness with information, and parts of the diologue don't really fit the persona. maybe add more intrigue. The writing remains fantastic ;]
10/10/2007 c2 Yokotaashi
again, suprisingly well done no noticable grammar or spelling, clear, flows from line to line, clearly develpoed ideas, and interesting on top of all that! keep it up!
9/2/2007 c1 dude i'm anonymous
wow i love your writing style also lols

8/31/2007 c1 Yokotaashi
Wow, I don't see fluent, well worded writing here often, but despite what tendancies I might have as far a genre go, I was captured by the way I could really picture each action as it was happening. Your only shortcoming was in the description, both at a detail level and a setting level.

But like I said, I didn't really notice until I thought about it, very nice work!
8/20/2007 c2 1Zigeunerin
Sorry I'm so delayed in the second review. For a while, I had all the time in the world and there was no second chapter. But now it's the end of summer; and with school steadily approaching, there's no end to the stuff I've got to do.

I think that writing from constantly changing perspectives might be easier for you; it keeps it from getting boring because you have the opportunity to switch styles nearly every chapter. However, it's a lot more classy if you keep your narration consistent. I preferred the prologue. Conventional stories are told from past tense and (usually) third person or, at least, past tense and first person. Writing a story in present tense is nearly always ill-advised because stories are unlike movies in that they are narrated rather than experienced; writing a narrative in present tense is...awkward and unnatural since the narrator had to have experienced the action before writing it. see?

Anyways, your style is still very nice. The chapters aren't too long so it makes it easier for me to review. Everything is very neat and pithy; nothing is ambiguous or dull. I was a little shocked that Elizabeth would be so keen on working at a pub. I mean, even though it's obvious she and her father are in great need of money, wouldn't a natural girl of the time period be a little reluctant to have to work there?

"'Thank you,' I stammer, beaming for my good luck..." Isn't she basically agreeing to be a prostitute? I'm not saying you should write the character seeking employment elsewhere, but shouldn't she at least want to work some place better? That was my only complaint (well, that and the changing perspective).
7/9/2007 c1 4vIE-TeNDRe
omg The Highwayman is my ultimately favorite poem ever! when i saw you made a story out of it i had to read it and i like it so far i hope you continue i'd love to see how it turns out in the end!:)
7/9/2007 c1 1Zigeunerin
I absolutely love the Highwayman; it's doubtlessly my favorite poem in the entire English language. So, when I saw the title, I couldn't resist reading this. Your descriptions were fabulous-without getting so detailed that it was a lame read, and without being too vague. I like the way you made your Highwayman very cavalier and quippyish; he seemed like a sort of endearing rogue even in this brief introduction. I hope that you write more!

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