for Not supposed to12/23/2009 c46 
3AlbinoApples
Hm...I hope you're planning on updating fairly soon, because that's a helluva cliffhanger. I must say, as the story progressed, I would never guess that english isn't your mother tongue. Amazing! Update soon, please?
3AlbinoApplesHm...I hope you're planning on updating fairly soon, because that's a helluva cliffhanger. I must say, as the story progressed, I would never guess that english isn't your mother tongue. Amazing! Update soon, please?
12/22/2009 c22 AlbinoApples
I'm rather confused as to how the beds are arranged. Do Shawn and Uri have their own beds or do they share one?
I'm rather confused as to how the beds are arranged. Do Shawn and Uri have their own beds or do they share one?
12/21/2009 c14 AlbinoApples
"Where is my pajamas?" and then “Shawn, is my pajamas among your clothes?” the word pajamas is like the word pants. Even though it's one item, it's plural. You should have written "Where are my pajamas?"
“now that you have eaten my salad, you will wash the plate.”
That's really formal-sounding. I can't help but imagine Uri as being some old man or really english-y or something. Lol. I think something less formal would be along the lines of, "Since you ate my salad, you can wash the plate."
“Hey, don’t forget about us, we also took part in preparations,” This is also very, very formal-sounding. "Hey, don't forget about us; we helped get ready too," would be better (and note the change from comma to semicolon. Bit of a punctuation error there)
Again, I really hope you don't mind my suggestions. If you don't like them that's okay. I guess I'm just trying to help; that's all. The story has an amazing plot. I'm dying to see what happens!
"Where is my pajamas?" and then “Shawn, is my pajamas among your clothes?” the word pajamas is like the word pants. Even though it's one item, it's plural. You should have written "Where are my pajamas?"
“now that you have eaten my salad, you will wash the plate.”
That's really formal-sounding. I can't help but imagine Uri as being some old man or really english-y or something. Lol. I think something less formal would be along the lines of, "Since you ate my salad, you can wash the plate."
“Hey, don’t forget about us, we also took part in preparations,” This is also very, very formal-sounding. "Hey, don't forget about us; we helped get ready too," would be better (and note the change from comma to semicolon. Bit of a punctuation error there)
Again, I really hope you don't mind my suggestions. If you don't like them that's okay. I guess I'm just trying to help; that's all. The story has an amazing plot. I'm dying to see what happens!
12/21/2009 c13 AlbinoApples
"You’re gay for them, Uri. What did you expect?"- Adorable typo of the year! Umm...gay for you usually mean that you're attracted to someone. So...I'm pretty sure that you didn't mean for it to be worded like that. "They think you're gay, Uri." would be better
“Uri, you’re not the first time here..." that doesn't quite make sense either. "Uri, this isn't your first time here..." would be better.
Hope you don't mind my pointing those things out. I know you said english isn't your first language, and I rather admire you. I couldn't ever imagine writing an entire story in a different language.
"You’re gay for them, Uri. What did you expect?"- Adorable typo of the year! Umm...gay for you usually mean that you're attracted to someone. So...I'm pretty sure that you didn't mean for it to be worded like that. "They think you're gay, Uri." would be better
“Uri, you’re not the first time here..." that doesn't quite make sense either. "Uri, this isn't your first time here..." would be better.
Hope you don't mind my pointing those things out. I know you said english isn't your first language, and I rather admire you. I couldn't ever imagine writing an entire story in a different language.
12/21/2009 c8 AlbinoApples
“How come did you end up helping out jocks?” Uhh...that kinda doesn't make any sense. I think you mentioned that english isn't your first language, right? It would make more sense like this, "How did you end up helping out jocks?" or "How come you're helping out jocks?" Something like that.
I'm loving it so far.
“How come did you end up helping out jocks?” Uhh...that kinda doesn't make any sense. I think you mentioned that english isn't your first language, right? It would make more sense like this, "How did you end up helping out jocks?" or "How come you're helping out jocks?" Something like that.
I'm loving it so far.
12/21/2009 c46 27x-ClinicallyInsane-x
I cannot wait until you write more.
I really want to know how it's ends.
It is really good.
I hope Shawn and Uri make up.
27x-ClinicallyInsane-xI cannot wait until you write more.
I really want to know how it's ends.
It is really good.
I hope Shawn and Uri make up.
12/19/2009 c25 Too Lazy to Log in
Tripp pants!
Yay~
BEST PANTS EVEH!
I have a pair of orange and black ones.
They were on sale.
$50
That's still a lot.
Tripp pants!
Yay~
BEST PANTS EVEH!
I have a pair of orange and black ones.
They were on sale.
$50
That's still a lot.
12/14/2009 c46 Me.Want.Eat.You
OhMyGod. I've finally finished reading this story to were it is now, ahah xD. I found it like, 6 months ago and in some of my spare time i've read it, it's amazing! :D I seriously can't wait for the next chapter! Pleasee update soon, darls' (: Big lovee
OhMyGod. I've finally finished reading this story to were it is now, ahah xD. I found it like, 6 months ago and in some of my spare time i've read it, it's amazing! :D I seriously can't wait for the next chapter! Pleasee update soon, darls' (: Big lovee
12/14/2009 c11 2Fuurou
Oh, I know how that can be with the unintelligible notes... _ Spacing out during a lecture class and trying to take notes on it is a really bad idea. xD In this psychology class I had, I vividly remember writing something about handcuffs and chains. It was very weird and /definitely/ not part of the lecture. *grins* Great story so far. I found it very amusing when he compared Nancy to his brother a few chapters ago without even realizing it. xD
Shawn and Uri are so damn cute together... when it's not totally awkward. =P I can't wait for one of them to just come out with it! They're so in love with each other...
2FuurouOh, I know how that can be with the unintelligible notes... _ Spacing out during a lecture class and trying to take notes on it is a really bad idea. xD In this psychology class I had, I vividly remember writing something about handcuffs and chains. It was very weird and /definitely/ not part of the lecture. *grins* Great story so far. I found it very amusing when he compared Nancy to his brother a few chapters ago without even realizing it. xD
Shawn and Uri are so damn cute together... when it's not totally awkward. =P I can't wait for one of them to just come out with it! They're so in love with each other...
12/9/2009 c46 3Max-Ashworth
Hello! I've just re-read the story and remembered just how much I really loved it. :) I'm hoping to see more in the future! Thank you for sharing such a lovely piece of work!
~AftG, Maggie
3Max-AshworthHello! I've just re-read the story and remembered just how much I really loved it. :) I'm hoping to see more in the future! Thank you for sharing such a lovely piece of work!
~AftG, Maggie
12/2/2009 c46 37Daedhira Dhna
agh - I voted ages ago, and hope you won - but where is the new chapter? *cries* pleasepleasepleaseplease they have so much to move paast! I feel like I've waiting for this fic almost as long as I've been waiting for ROTD - and that's been a year! Please!
37Daedhira Dhnaagh - I voted ages ago, and hope you won - but where is the new chapter? *cries* pleasepleasepleaseplease they have so much to move paast! I feel like I've waiting for this fic almost as long as I've been waiting for ROTD - and that's been a year! Please!
11/30/2009 c45 8TinaLouise
Once I started reading this, I couldn't stop. I pulled an all-nighter to finish it.
I have spent the last couple hours crying as I read the last few chapters. I hope that you continue this story because I really need to know what happens with Shawn and Uri.
Thanks for a great read.
8TinaLouiseOnce I started reading this, I couldn't stop. I pulled an all-nighter to finish it.
I have spent the last couple hours crying as I read the last few chapters. I hope that you continue this story because I really need to know what happens with Shawn and Uri.
Thanks for a great read.
11/20/2009 c46 LondonCallingx
Shawn is such a bastard, I really want him to find out about Kyle and that fact that Uri never cheated on him. Its his turn to beg for forgiveness! Ohh please update soon! This is simply amazing.
Shawn is such a bastard, I really want him to find out about Kyle and that fact that Uri never cheated on him. Its his turn to beg for forgiveness! Ohh please update soon! This is simply amazing.
11/18/2009 c46 Kaamen I'm a REAL member
Are you going to continue this? I absolutly love it!
I've been reading it non stop and it's been takening me a while... actually longer than a normal book would, cause usually I just read 2 books in a day... but this one drawed me in so much I took my time cause I DIDN'T want it to end!
PLEASE CONTINUE THIS STORY! I BEG OF YOU!
UPDATE WHEN YOU CAN... cause I'll be waiting... wait that makes me sound like a creeper... nevermind... :P
~Kaamen ^w^
Are you going to continue this? I absolutly love it!
I've been reading it non stop and it's been takening me a while... actually longer than a normal book would, cause usually I just read 2 books in a day... but this one drawed me in so much I took my time cause I DIDN'T want it to end!
PLEASE CONTINUE THIS STORY! I BEG OF YOU!
UPDATE WHEN YOU CAN... cause I'll be waiting... wait that makes me sound like a creeper... nevermind... :P
~Kaamen ^w^