for Sweet Revenge7/12/2007 c1 
21as beauty dies
[“Alisa, do you want anything to eat?” her mother knocked on her door, asking.] I think you meant: Her mother knocked on her door, asking: "Alisa, do you want anything to eat?"
^^; Anyway, this has a really good plot and some genuinly creepy moment. The whole thing, in all, is well executed and I really like the main-character.
Keep up the good work!
- Noelle
21as beauty dies[“Alisa, do you want anything to eat?” her mother knocked on her door, asking.] I think you meant: Her mother knocked on her door, asking: "Alisa, do you want anything to eat?"
^^; Anyway, this has a really good plot and some genuinly creepy moment. The whole thing, in all, is well executed and I really like the main-character.
Keep up the good work!
- Noelle