for Thief6/6/2008 c2 
1missAtoZ
arresting prologue. you seem to like the 'one word' idea (i had a quick glance at your other work "Painter").
just a quick pointer - in the second sentence, is it meant to be: 'do you want the boss TO BE MAD at us again?'
p.s. thanks so much for reviewing my story! first time authors unite!
1missAtoZarresting prologue. you seem to like the 'one word' idea (i had a quick glance at your other work "Painter").
just a quick pointer - in the second sentence, is it meant to be: 'do you want the boss TO BE MAD at us again?'
p.s. thanks so much for reviewing my story! first time authors unite!
5/26/2008 c4 18GRAYTEXT
Great job so far. This is an interesting world, and I can't wait to read more about it. The only thing I would like to know earlier is Cody's age. He acts like a seven-year-old, but it seems he is much older.
18GRAYTEXTGreat job so far. This is an interesting world, and I can't wait to read more about it. The only thing I would like to know earlier is Cody's age. He acts like a seven-year-old, but it seems he is much older.
1/26/2008 c5 2codyismypup
God, talk about awkward. That must of made your heart stop for a second to see that review...
lol.
:)-RAR
UPDATE ALREADY!
2codyismypupGod, talk about awkward. That must of made your heart stop for a second to see that review...
lol.
:)-RAR
UPDATE ALREADY!
1/26/2008 c4 codyismypup
I just noticed what you wrote in your last A/N last chapter.
HAHAHAHAHA! I can't imagine you writing a lemon, EVER.
See, I can write reviews too, without the scariness!
Okay, let's think of some tips so far.
You are a good writer, you've defined the personalities of the characters, entered some intrigue, and most of all, it's amusing. Good job!
Now, Just update, and then it'll get more popular, ay?
I just noticed what you wrote in your last A/N last chapter.
HAHAHAHAHA! I can't imagine you writing a lemon, EVER.
See, I can write reviews too, without the scariness!
Okay, let's think of some tips so far.
You are a good writer, you've defined the personalities of the characters, entered some intrigue, and most of all, it's amusing. Good job!
Now, Just update, and then it'll get more popular, ay?
12/27/2007 c4 1lovefantasyworkreality
An interesting chapter, but I really hope you don't mean that paragraph where you said, and I quote, "They also believe that they are the supreme rulers of the planet" of Christians. I am a Christian, and I'll say right now, that's a lie. Keep posting stuff like this about Christians, and I'll keep telling you the truth. Although, I will admit, there may be some Christians who do have that viewpoint. However, to say that all Christians are like that is an unfair generalization.
1lovefantasyworkrealityAn interesting chapter, but I really hope you don't mean that paragraph where you said, and I quote, "They also believe that they are the supreme rulers of the planet" of Christians. I am a Christian, and I'll say right now, that's a lie. Keep posting stuff like this about Christians, and I'll keep telling you the truth. Although, I will admit, there may be some Christians who do have that viewpoint. However, to say that all Christians are like that is an unfair generalization.
12/5/2007 c1 lovefantasyworkreality
Hm, an intriguing beginning! A good idea, drags someone in further so they can find out what on earth is going on.
Hm, an intriguing beginning! A good idea, drags someone in further so they can find out what on earth is going on.
11/7/2007 c3 pete's sake delete the account
Interesting! I think I like it.
Somehow, it reminds me of an underworld version of Firefly.
Interesting! I think I like it.
Somehow, it reminds me of an underworld version of Firefly.
10/2/2007 c3 6Luckie
I am thoroughly enjoying this. Your knack for detail is amazing and I really like this new female character and the concept of her having one dark wing and one light wing. That's so awesome! I can't wait to see chapter 4
6LuckieI am thoroughly enjoying this. Your knack for detail is amazing and I really like this new female character and the concept of her having one dark wing and one light wing. That's so awesome! I can't wait to see chapter 4
10/2/2007 c2 Luckie
And you said that you didn't think people liked this story... It's pretty cool so far. I liked how you've created your own little world and the fact that you do it in first person and still manage to show rather than tell people what's happening is amazing. Trust me, I have a hard time showing rather than telling when I write in first person.
The one thing I would give you the heads up on is checking for spelling and other typos.
Aside from that, the story is terrific so far and I think you should keep working on it!
And you said that you didn't think people liked this story... It's pretty cool so far. I liked how you've created your own little world and the fact that you do it in first person and still manage to show rather than tell people what's happening is amazing. Trust me, I have a hard time showing rather than telling when I write in first person.
The one thing I would give you the heads up on is checking for spelling and other typos.
Aside from that, the story is terrific so far and I think you should keep working on it!
8/4/2007 c3 scarlet tear drop
Okay i like it but write more cuz im egar to get a clearer understanding about cain and her life and stuff, but I like it so far. Cool! lol
Okay i like it but write more cuz im egar to get a clearer understanding about cain and her life and stuff, but I like it so far. Cool! lol
7/25/2007 c1 2codyismypup
thankies.
If you wanna be my lurver
So, I'll tell you what I want, what I really really want,
So tell me what you want, what you really really want,
I'll tell you what I want, what I really really want,
So tell me what you want, what you really really want,
I wanna ha, I wanna ha, I wanna ha, I wanna ha, I wanna really
really really wanna zigazig ah.
If you want my future forget my past,
If you wanna get with me better make it fast,
Now don't go wasting, my precious time,
Get your act together we can be just fine.
I'll tell you what I want, what I really really want,
So tell me what you want, what you really really want,
I wanna, I wanna, I wanna, I wanna, I wanna really
really really wanna zigazang ah.
If you wanna be my lover, you gotta get with my friends, (gotta get with my friends!)
Make it last forever friendship never ends,
If you wanna be my lover, you have got to give,
Taking is too easy, but that's the way it is.
So what you think about that? Now you know how I feel.
Say you can handle my love are you for real, (are you for real)
I won't be hasty, I'll give you a try
If you really bug me then I'll say goodbye.
Yo I'll tell you what I want, what I really really want,
So tell me what you want, what you really really want,
I wanna, i wanna, i wanna i wanna, i wanna really
really really wanna zigazig ah.
If you wanna be my lover, you gotta get with my friends,(gotta get with my friends!)
Make it last forever friendship never ends,
If you wanna be my lover, you have got to give, (You've got to give)
Taking is too easy, but that's the way it is.
So here's a story from A to Z, you wanna get with me
you gotta listen carefully,
We got M in the place who likes it in your face,
we got G like MC who likes it on an
Easy V dosent come for free,shes a real lady
and as for me.. HA you'll see.
Slam your body down and wind it all around,
Slam your body down and wind it all around.
If you wanna be my lover, you gotta get with my friends,(gotta get with my friends)
Make it last forever friendship never ends,
If you wanna be my lover, you have got to give,(You've got to give)
Taking is too easy, but that's the way it is.
If you wanna be my lover, you gotta, you gotta, you
gotta,
you gotta, you gotta! stomp! stomp! stomp! stomp!
Slam your body down and wind it all around?
Slam your body down and wind it all around.(ha ha ha ha)
Slam your body down and wind it all around.
Slam your body down zigazig ah
If you wanna be my lover!(lover!Lover lover)
ya got it?
haha. i just had to cups of coffee...heehee
2codyismypupthankies.
If you wanna be my lurver
So, I'll tell you what I want, what I really really want,
So tell me what you want, what you really really want,
I'll tell you what I want, what I really really want,
So tell me what you want, what you really really want,
I wanna ha, I wanna ha, I wanna ha, I wanna ha, I wanna really
really really wanna zigazig ah.
If you want my future forget my past,
If you wanna get with me better make it fast,
Now don't go wasting, my precious time,
Get your act together we can be just fine.
I'll tell you what I want, what I really really want,
So tell me what you want, what you really really want,
I wanna, I wanna, I wanna, I wanna, I wanna really
really really wanna zigazang ah.
If you wanna be my lover, you gotta get with my friends, (gotta get with my friends!)
Make it last forever friendship never ends,
If you wanna be my lover, you have got to give,
Taking is too easy, but that's the way it is.
So what you think about that? Now you know how I feel.
Say you can handle my love are you for real, (are you for real)
I won't be hasty, I'll give you a try
If you really bug me then I'll say goodbye.
Yo I'll tell you what I want, what I really really want,
So tell me what you want, what you really really want,
I wanna, i wanna, i wanna i wanna, i wanna really
really really wanna zigazig ah.
If you wanna be my lover, you gotta get with my friends,(gotta get with my friends!)
Make it last forever friendship never ends,
If you wanna be my lover, you have got to give, (You've got to give)
Taking is too easy, but that's the way it is.
So here's a story from A to Z, you wanna get with me
you gotta listen carefully,
We got M in the place who likes it in your face,
we got G like MC who likes it on an
Easy V dosent come for free,shes a real lady
and as for me.. HA you'll see.
Slam your body down and wind it all around,
Slam your body down and wind it all around.
If you wanna be my lover, you gotta get with my friends,(gotta get with my friends)
Make it last forever friendship never ends,
If you wanna be my lover, you have got to give,(You've got to give)
Taking is too easy, but that's the way it is.
If you wanna be my lover, you gotta, you gotta, you
gotta,
you gotta, you gotta! stomp! stomp! stomp! stomp!
Slam your body down and wind it all around?
Slam your body down and wind it all around.(ha ha ha ha)
Slam your body down and wind it all around.
Slam your body down zigazig ah
If you wanna be my lover!(lover!Lover lover)
ya got it?
haha. i just had to cups of coffee...heehee
7/24/2007 c2 codyismypup
hullo sexy wannabe lurver let's go take over ze world one treehouse at a time. I LIKE PONIES TO!
fjkdslkfjsedkfklsd I love youlououlouloulou let's go crazzy on a winnebago yeah that's right I went there. like a bagel in a salad you and I were meant to be. You are my favorite croutan. I have three fingers flicking you off and they don't have any monkies attached to them. My shoes are hidden from that racist cat of yours, leave my superscizzered socks alone you feline.
My turtle that's in my box says eat my shorts. The gorilla in my closet has your sanity hostage. If you'd like it back call becca's strip hotline and I'll gladly have phone love with you until koko gets to punch someone in the stomach for asking if she likes bananas.
insane enough for you?
haha! YAYZ A review! GO YOU! GO! Y-O-U! POMPOMS ARE GONNA BE SHOVED down your throat through the cafeteria! What can you do? Call pinky and the brain! They'll kill them for you in their mousy size! lubdub in the alligator tub! bye bye bye (n'sync in their natural phase!)
MWAH!-AVey
hullo sexy wannabe lurver let's go take over ze world one treehouse at a time. I LIKE PONIES TO!
fjkdslkfjsedkfklsd I love youlououlouloulou let's go crazzy on a winnebago yeah that's right I went there. like a bagel in a salad you and I were meant to be. You are my favorite croutan. I have three fingers flicking you off and they don't have any monkies attached to them. My shoes are hidden from that racist cat of yours, leave my superscizzered socks alone you feline.
My turtle that's in my box says eat my shorts. The gorilla in my closet has your sanity hostage. If you'd like it back call becca's strip hotline and I'll gladly have phone love with you until koko gets to punch someone in the stomach for asking if she likes bananas.
insane enough for you?
haha! YAYZ A review! GO YOU! GO! Y-O-U! POMPOMS ARE GONNA BE SHOVED down your throat through the cafeteria! What can you do? Call pinky and the brain! They'll kill them for you in their mousy size! lubdub in the alligator tub! bye bye bye (n'sync in their natural phase!)
MWAH!-AVey
7/15/2007 c3 codyismypup
Uhh, you should lower the rating to T...it's only swearing. Unless there's EXTREME violence, or sex scenes (which, you won't be doing as emphasized) then there's no reason to raise it so high. That only doesn't make your story show up on the genre you choosed, because mostly, people here ready K to T because they are young, and possibly their parents don't want them reading it, so they don't show it there.
Yeah. Moving on. So far so good! I'm thinking of putting the story I sent you onto Ficpress...but I'm not exactly...confident about it yet. Haha, I told you to put hooking up. And you put "hooking up", I thought that was funny, because it makes Cain sound old. Also, one chapter one, when you were talking about the hormone thing, you should say their instead of the. Okay? Swet!
I hope you had fun at the convention! Yeah, CALL ME tomorrow, okay? I'll tell you all the things I did. I had lots of fun too!
And I'm NOT a brilliant author!-glare-
Haha. I saw HArry Potter today. IT was GOOD (underline. But I was pissed off because there were so many people making noise. ERG. Okay, call me!-Avey (as I use at this site, because I like it better)
Uhh, you should lower the rating to T...it's only swearing. Unless there's EXTREME violence, or sex scenes (which, you won't be doing as emphasized) then there's no reason to raise it so high. That only doesn't make your story show up on the genre you choosed, because mostly, people here ready K to T because they are young, and possibly their parents don't want them reading it, so they don't show it there.
Yeah. Moving on. So far so good! I'm thinking of putting the story I sent you onto Ficpress...but I'm not exactly...confident about it yet. Haha, I told you to put hooking up. And you put "hooking up", I thought that was funny, because it makes Cain sound old. Also, one chapter one, when you were talking about the hormone thing, you should say their instead of the. Okay? Swet!
I hope you had fun at the convention! Yeah, CALL ME tomorrow, okay? I'll tell you all the things I did. I had lots of fun too!
And I'm NOT a brilliant author!-glare-
Haha. I saw HArry Potter today. IT was GOOD (underline. But I was pissed off because there were so many people making noise. ERG. Okay, call me!-Avey (as I use at this site, because I like it better)