for Painting The Stars7/28/2007 c3 
6Carmel March
Lovely, lovely chapter. I absolutely love how you portray your characters. They're realistic, believable, and that's important :) Great job, and I hope to read more of this soon!
~carm~
6Carmel MarchLovely, lovely chapter. I absolutely love how you portray your characters. They're realistic, believable, and that's important :) Great job, and I hope to read more of this soon!
~carm~
7/26/2007 c2 Carmel March
This is absolutely wonderful so far. You're writing style is simply amazing, holds my interest throughout the entire read. Good job on this, and I can't wait for more :)
~carm~
This is absolutely wonderful so far. You're writing style is simply amazing, holds my interest throughout the entire read. Good job on this, and I can't wait for more :)
~carm~
7/20/2007 c2 5Something Strange
Wow, this is getting really interesting! the end of chapter 2 is a big twist! This story is really well written. Not too many stories keep my attention long enough to read them, but this one does. Great job, keep writing!
5Something StrangeWow, this is getting really interesting! the end of chapter 2 is a big twist! This story is really well written. Not too many stories keep my attention long enough to read them, but this one does. Great job, keep writing!
7/20/2007 c1 4J. A. Kossler
Please put spaces between the paragraphs - it makes it easier to read.
Also, don't forget to put your readers in your characters' skins and show us how they're feeling. The reader should feel oddly connected. Use the five senses - sight, smell, taste, sound, touch - to help illustrate what they're feeling. Include thoughts, as those could help too.
Hope that helps!
-JAK
(Please check out my story, too! :D)
4J. A. KosslerPlease put spaces between the paragraphs - it makes it easier to read.
Also, don't forget to put your readers in your characters' skins and show us how they're feeling. The reader should feel oddly connected. Use the five senses - sight, smell, taste, sound, touch - to help illustrate what they're feeling. Include thoughts, as those could help too.
Hope that helps!
-JAK
(Please check out my story, too! :D)