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10/1/2007 c1 20Twilight Starr
That's sad.

I hope things are better now.

~Twilight Starr~
7/23/2007 c1 aKa MiLeZ
7/23/2007 c1 14O.r.i.g.i.n.a.l.isn't.My.style
Hm.. It is kind of confusing I guess, depending on which view you're reading it as, but I think I have it or I have my interpretation. Anyway, the flow of your poem is different from the poems that I usually read and so I like the choppiness of your poem. It actually works in somehow. The title of your poem is somewhat pertinent to the content, but it was really more about your friends/family and a bit of yourself rather than just you. If it was about "me", then maybe you could have described yourself more and "expand" the poem more instead of just saying that you were hurt, depressed, and some things about your friends. I liked how you tied in the beginning and ending, clever. The poem makes one think, or it made me ponder at the least. It was nice to see the consistency of

I, hurt, depressed

Oh not me considering

and what you personally thought.

It was an interesting poem and I can definetely relate with the things about parents and some part with the friends. There was a spelling mistake, loosing is supposed to be losing, and some of the transitions between phrases/ideas were kind of bumpy. Other than that, nice poem so good job. Keep on writing.
7/23/2007 c1 97rust phoenix
Very sad. It's a bit cliche, but you do a good job with the emotion. I think more metaphors/poetic devices could have helped make it stronger, but it's still a good piece. I've felt like this before so I could relate. I hope you don't feel like this often.
7/23/2007 c1 173Exodus.Escence Of Sin
This does seem a bit confusing but thats one of the points of poetry lol. great job!

parentheses in eternity

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