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for The Risk of Trust

8/2/2007 c1 9DeceptionIsMySpecialty
I really like this story. I havn't seen one like this before on here. I like originality. I like how well the conversation between Olivia and dolan flows. Usually with stories like these, it is akward and boring. Good job! :)
7/25/2007 c1 5Aria's Loft
Hey! My computer's working now, so...

I like this, especially that Olivia was worried about online-predator stuff, but that it didn't turn into some overused cautionary tale. The misunderstanding was a nice part of the plot, but I think you could have maybe drawn it out a bit more.

Maybe instead of Olivia doing "other activities" you could list a few of them? There are a couple other places where the sentances are a little akward, or could easily give good detail, but overall it's quite enjoyable.

Oh, and you did a great job writing the online talk in a way that someone who doesn't necessarilly understand it all (me) can understand what they're saying.
7/24/2007 c1 1SierraSurvive
That was really very good. I think that you have a really awsome future in writing. It seems that your a 'plot' writer, or someone who writes for the effect of telling a good story. Your very, very good at your style of writing.

You Freaking Rock : D

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