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for just look me in the eyes

9/11/2007 c1 31Red Tears Black Wings

You really do need someone who is not going to back away from you. You need what I need someone who will not lie to and will cry when you cry and see when something is wrong. I know what you feel. I have done some of the same things you have, I fall in love too esaly and I get hurt too easly. So you know what PM me, I'll listen to anything that you have to say and I just can't help but ask 'whats wrong?' to anyone who looks or sounds as if they are in pain.

9/9/2007 c1 flies.like.decay
5. Use proper textual formatting. For example: using only capital letters in the story title, summary, or content is not only incorrect but also a disregard for the language itself.

(Though a little late) I feel as if you were describing me. It's nice because then I understand you better. It's terrible because it hurts so badly. Good job on this. I'd ask if you wanted to talk, but I'm late and afraid to get close to people. They look down on you and then leave.
7/31/2007 c1 60xfail
I almost cried as I read this. I can relate and I can feel exactly what you are saying.

People madden me so much with their lack of insight and compassion, I can barely go on about it.
7/30/2007 c1 Kindre Turnany
It doesn't matter if you were writing this out of your actual life or just creating fiction, it made me care. And I have no idea who you are, so that's something.

I felt like this should've had stanzas, and the last time I got that feeling the writer actually didn't know how to make them work on this site. I don't know if that's the case or you just wanted it this way, but if it's the former I can explain it to you real quick.

And your punctuation use was kinda sporadic. Just try to use it the same way you would when writing prose, even though this is poetry.

I really liked this. It just felt like you could polish it up a bit.
7/30/2007 c1 463All Alone With Her Thoughts
A lot of people, including myself, feel like this at some point in time. Sometimes, that's almost always. It's hard to be strong and you did a good job of showing that. Nice.


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