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for E Flat Minor of Platform 24

1/15/2017 c1 2Severed Arm
To love and hate a story so much...
9/5/2014 c2 2bubublacz
Oh gosh.. That was harsh. But good writing
7/14/2014 c2 2mcc1089
This was such a beautiful story. Being a musician myself, I can definitely relate. It is sad that it ended this way, but it was a beautiful ending.
4/9/2013 c2 Dominique Diane
Oh god, I cried at the last part!
8/29/2012 c2 Darling Deer
This was amazing, blew up my mind. That was unexpected and made me cry. I felt so lonely when he died and after reading his message, made fall in love with him too. He was so selfless and she was so selfish, i hated her. Next time I go the sub, I'll make sure to check the walls and when I do find him, i won't let him go :)
7/13/2012 c2 76The Autumn Queen
I like the way you began once again. Tackling the cliched happily ever ending and voicing a brief summary of events instead in a more realistic way. There's a sense of sadness in those first lines as well, which is fitting and at the same time showcases your talent for 1st person narrative, being able to say that with so little words.

I also like how you conveyed the fear in this. The heart-felt admission "I'm afraid" - the introverted nature and the traffic jam and the twinge in her chest. Even the note she left seems so stiff and formal and helps us as readers understand that feeling. It seems, as you said at the beginning, an attempt to get this off her chest so she can be free of it. It's amazing how well you managed to hold on to that. Well done.

Ohana from the Review Marathon (link in profile)
7/13/2012 c1 The Autumn Queen
I love the way you started this. While, in a way, it is conventional in terms of writing for closure, straight off the bat it demonstrates a certain uniqueness to it. I think it's the admission of guilt, the need for apology, and the acknowledgement that the benefit is solely (or wholly) his own.

[not in logic but in pure emotion.] - that's a somewhat unusual way of saying it. I normally see "on" as opposed to "in" but it serves to give the narrative a unique voice, so a stumbling block like that actually serves to work rather well. Particularly as it highlights the sentence that follows.

I also like how you come back to the theme of selfishness/selflessness in the next paragraph in an almost entirely different context. And how it continues to occur throughout the chapter. It's a good motif to play with in any form of narrative I think; it highlights the direction of bias, but on top of that it works even more for a fic like this where selfishness or some degree thereof is contained within the root.

[Getting good grades benefited almost no one but me, and that pleased me to no end.] - That's a very interesting sentence. Unfortunately, I think good marks sometimes benefit me less, *sighs internally*

And there's an interesting way for two people to have a conversation. Normally, it's the internet hype, but this gives a touch of uniqueness and an extra sense of awareness too.

Ohana from the Review Marathon (link in profile)
6/8/2012 c1 2Redz
Wow, amazing story. I wish I'd have found it sooner. I would have liked to know how this will change Nat and how she will overcome the sadness, but I guess one can't have everything.

Spotted a couple mistakes on ch1. 'My apology is directed at the principle character of my tale.' I think you meant 'principal.'

'On the wall, partially hidden by the pay phone, was a strange sort of graffiti on the wall.' Unnecessary repetition of 'on the wall.'

I will now proceed to read your other stories. Keep it up!
2/6/2012 c2 dreeming
Oh. As beutiful as this is, I can't- He just- WHY DID HE HAVE TO DIE *sob*
9/13/2011 c2 foxbagels
This just absolutely broke my heart. I mean literally I'm sitting here sobbing! I loved it!
2/10/2011 c2 28Robin Leigh
Beautiful. I love it's uniqueness, it's warmth and simplicity and mystery. I love it. :)
10/27/2010 c2 midnight tales
this is very beautiful. both the story line and your writing flows so beautifully. it's absolutely breathtaking. I'm very in love with this short story of yours.
7/6/2010 c2 cheeky sheep
I am seriously going to start crying any second now.

That was beautiful.
7/5/2010 c2 5FizzyLizzy
Amazing. Absolutely breathtaking. Even the grammar was impeccable. Every single thing, from the detail to the dialogue was pure art. It was perfect. You need to be congratulated, so CONGRATULATIONS.

I love it,

Liz xx
6/21/2010 c2 3Floppy125
This was awesome. A little tad dramatic, but it was really good :)

I'm so much like Nat. I play the piano only for my own benefit, and I don't like people hearing it, even though they always tell me I'm good, I still can't play for other people.

I would've loved a music sheet of the song...

Anyways. It was a great story :) great job!
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