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for World Chicken: A Libertine

9/10/2010 c22 Cynth
Unique, interesting, and had me hooked. No grammar mistakes either, so that is a big plus. Even a lot of the 'popular' stories I've read had some haha. Anyway this was great. Not cliche at all. I love roman hahaha ;D
8/20/2010 c1 Literate.Liberty
I love HIM♥

He's so glaringly normal with an out-of-this-world confidence!

Kid's got major cojones.

The way he speaks is super care-free and refreshing.

You've got me interested!
5/5/2010 c22 OlympicBunny
thank you for writing this i really really enjoyed reading it. i like everything about it, all the good parts and the bad parts and the sad parts. Thanks a lot for writing it
4/28/2010 c3 Brenda Agaro
Whoa...you almost killed me with those alerts. Grr...

Don't worry, I'm not mad! XD I actually planned to read this story some time ago, so I decided to go ahead and read the first three chapters. So far, I like the flow. You managed to convey Roman's thought process well. The characterization is clever, and the dialogue is engaging. The humor got me chuckling. Good execution. I also like how this story is uncensored when it comes to teenage life. Some realistic YA fiction I've read tends to avoid that.

I noticed that you switch from present tense to past tense (in the second and third chapters.) Is that intentional (Roman thinking about what happened in the past)? Sorry, I got a bit confused. :X

I'll definitely read the rest when I get the chance.

Congrats on getting nominated! You deserve it, as I especially like your Young Adult stories (especially "A Strong, Windless Place in the Sky.") I'll go vote for you! And, aw, what happened to "Thread Baker"? Well, I respect if you don't want to work on it anymore.

If you're going to return reviews, please don't return the favor to me. Most of my stories aren't that good and don't reflect my current writing style. But if for some reason you want to, there's "Dancing Snowflakes", although it's Lesbian YA. If you're not into that genre, then it's understandable.

I'm going to add you on LJ, if that's okay. :-)
7/8/2008 c1 Lydia Gaby
i absolutely loved your story, I read it like 90 trillion times and i'm so glad ur getting published

Best of luck

7/2/2008 c1 8monster dia
i wish you nothing but good luck on the publication. i hope it all works out. and i wanna read it when it's actually published in the magazine. that way, i can be all like, I READ THIS BEFORE IT WAS OFFICIALLY PUBLISHED~
4/23/2008 c1 37le roi des pirates
Clicking the link, this would have been, in fact, my third time reading about Roman! I'm really excited you've decided to publish the story, it beats the hell out of all those other novels. Hey, at least you know you have a fan right here, hey?
9/21/2007 c17 2Penance for her sins
Hey, I am back for my daily dose of Roman. You know, because a little of him, once a day, keeps my appetite away. It’s completely okay, three square meals a day is so overrated. About your author’s note, my best friend is Trinidadian, but his mom and the majority of his family are originally Indian. I will try to ask my main ‘hash brown’ those questions for you. His replies will probably be lame as hell though.

His uncle gave him flavored condoms. That sent a shiver down my spine, for me that was more than kind of creepy information. The rest of this chapter was wholesome for the most part, definitely the same vibe I get when I go to my mate’s house. Good job on that, his dad drops dirty jokes more than Bush drops bombs, and his mom stuffs me full, because she tells me I look like I just escaped Auschwitz.

No words can describe my love for Bollywood! I watch Indian movies all time, I don’t really understand them, with the random singing, and dancing—but the overall experience is really entertaining.

God, please not Saraswati's mom—really hope that was sarcasm.

‘I waxed my car down with love and wide, Karate Kid strokes.’—Ha, you really have a way with words, but you probably hear that all the time.

I also like Roman’s mom, cool woman. I was rather bummed out there was not more Justos in this chapter, but well rounded chapter overall. You managed to take the reader many places, and meet up with many characters.
9/19/2007 c16 Penance for her sins
I may not quite see my own works through, but I should at least try to finish other highly motivated people’s works.In that spirited, I am back like I left something behind.

‘A good guy with six kids and a wife with a terminal illness is just God's sense of humor, I guess.’-Word to Sesame street’s big bird, that is real honesty right there. I felt so incredibly bad reading that about Chuck’s wife, as if all this was real.

"There are so many blacks around here," mom said and looked around.—I think there is supposed to be the word ‘the’ in front of ‘mom said’ here. I do not know it rather made it shortly confusing without word ‘the’, as if he was talking about his own mother and not the matriarch of the family moving in.

"Until Haiti becomes an inudstrialized power, I'm gonna let my hair grow out."—ha, ha so he’s totally going to be cousin ‘It’ from the Adams family soon. If they are teaching me right at university, there is no chance in hell that is happening in this eon.

"I don't want my brother and sister learning this."Silence.—this was so hysterical, you are funny, and not in that stupid accidental, way I kind of am. Justos—that poor bloke for that nastiness to happen right under his nose and in his own place too. This was another nice chapter!
9/17/2007 c1 9faerie-gumdrops
Hey, sorry, I took much longer than I'd planned to reply (especially seeing as I actually read this chapter a week ago! I am a rubbish reviewer). I want to give a really smart review to repay the favour properly and give some constructive criticism but, hell, you're just too clever for me, and you're a much better writer!

So anyway, first off, I really like the fact that this is a male POV story, simply because they're such a rare find on fictionpress, where nearly all the first person narrators are whiny teenage girls (I'm very guilty of this!) which can get kind of annoying quite quickly, so it's great and reassuring to find some originality out there. Also, your writing style is so natural, and the narration is very realistic, like you've obviously thought a lot about the way Roman (I'm assuming this is him talking?) would see the world and the way that he'd describe it. Ugh, I'm so fricking envious!

Roman's an interesting character too. I guess I haven't really seen enough of him yet to work him out, but I like how he's so conscious of how he wants to be seen. Really interesting how he likes to admire parts of himself that aren't there etc, like he kind of wishes, but also kind of believes, that he's a cooler looking person than he actually is - sorry if I'm completely wrong there, I'm a bit of an idiot sometimes. I love the relationship between him and Juliet, and I like how she's so unavailable to him, and the end where he tries to get her out of his system.

Anyway, I really like this story so far, it's so original, funny and written really well. I'll definitely read more when I get the time!
9/15/2007 c22 8monster dia
Oh, man. This story was Love.
9/15/2007 c16 10holiday road
I hadn't planned on reviewing this chapter because I was tired as hell, but when I read it I couldn't resist. That is so offbeat it isn't even... well, actually, it is funny. It's funny in a... an offbeat way hahahaha.

Sorry this was short =/
9/15/2007 c15 holiday road
Good Line: "Stop projecting. You asked what I thought. Don't confuse us."

Woo-hoo I love Alex too. I like jerks from stories too golly I love Roman man.

LOVE THIS LINE: "No, just stop. I don't want it. I worship myself enough. I know I'm fucking awesome, but don't attach morality and feelings or any of that crap to it. It offends me."

This is such an awesome line. It totally does an awesome job mixing Roman's sarcastic douchebag side with his dude-inherited-super-deep insight on things. It's the lines like this (and a couple littered around this chapter) that really make me like his character. He's obviously very intelligent but still very human.

Jane clearly has some issues.

"You just wanted to see what it was like to have sex with your ex's older brother. Big deal. If you add more stuff to it, you're just lying to yourself. Take it for what it is."

Jeez I love this guy.
9/15/2007 c14 holiday road
Is Winston with a trans? That'd be funny as hell.

LMAO when I read this line:

"Give me my sister, fuckbag. I know karate."

That was hella karate-ish right there... bitchslappib galore.

I like what Winston said - or tried to say - to Roman. It's really chummy but not super emotional and Roman didn't like, break down and start moaning about how nobody understands and stuff. And the whole Roman-Carla thing is cute, I think. At this point, however the story ends, whether they're together or not would be a good ending because it's realistic. It won't be from like totally left field, y'know?
9/15/2007 c13 holiday road
... so Roman doesn't like her concern?

Sorry this is a short review but that's all I was really thinking. And no, I'm sorry, but my monitor has not yet felt the pangs of being yelled at. Maybe the next chapter?
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